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Well folks, my run at SAHM is quickly coming to an end. In exactly one week, I will be piling the kiddos into the car to bring them to daycare for my eight hour work day. I decided that this blog wouldn't be a rant about the state of this country and its truly abysmal maternity leave benefits (but since I mentioned it, it sucks. Sucks, sucks, SUCKS) (and yes, those are four different links about how much it sucks) because I think I could go on forever on that one, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to listen to it.
I truly love being home with my children. I understand how some moms need to go back to work, and I respect that. But I am not one of those women. And to say I am jealous of the moms who can stay home would be the understatement of a lifetime. The last four months (four months?!? How the H-E-double hockey sticks did that happen so fast, btw??) have been wonderful and I can confidently say I will NEVER have this amount of time with my children again. Sure there have been challenges and bad days, but they are far outnumbered by laughs and giggles and hugs and kisses and JOY. I have a much larger sense of accomplishment and purpose than I have ever achieved professionally. Being a mom is absolutely what I am best at in life and it is very frustrating to me that it can't be my full-time job (yes, I know I am a mom all the time, but you know what I mean).
We have really stretched ourselves to even allow me this much time home, and I am so grateful. I actually have much less anxiety about this transition than I did with Little Man. Knowing the daycare providers has helped, because I am not as stressed about the thought of leaving Little Lady for the first time (although I would like to mention that she still hasn't taken a bottle and isn't really a huge fan of anyone other than me...). My anxiety at this point is more due to the fact that I am essentially leaving the job I want for the job I need--does that make sense?
And then, in what I think is an attempt to make me feel better, people say "Well, it will be good to go back to work and have some adult interaction!" For future reference, this is not going to make someone who wants to be home with their kids feel any better. If I want adult interaction I will pick up the phone and talk to my friends or figure out a time to get together. I am 100% certain I would not say to myself "Jeez, I really want to talk to some grown-ups...hmmm...I should probably go back to work."
A Facebook friend of mine posted a quote recently from Dr. Suess, of all people: "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened." I think he was referring to Christmas or something, but my head is elsewhere as I count down on my last few days home. I have smiled at least once EVERY SINGLE DAY since August 15th. Unfortunately, some tears are being shed now because I don't want it to end. Sometimes I think that SAHM's might get bogged down with all the crying and the whining and the boogers and the diapers and the poop and the doctor's appointments to really see how lucky they are. But as your toddler makes you want to pull out your hair, or your infant won't let you put her down or let anyone else hold her but you, you should take a deep breath and "smile because it happened" because I know at least one person who would love to be in your shoes.