All I Want For Christmas

There's a time when kids make Christmas lists of items like sleds, Barbies, Tonka trucks and remote control cars. These are the simple years. Buying for my 7-year-old son is easy and enjoyable.

As kids grow, so do their sense of entitlement and their lists. Items such as skis, leather jackets, high-tech gizmos and even cars begin to appear on their lists. Christmas in my house could be relatively simple this year if I were to give my two teenaged sons what they asked for ... money. But I have told them the only greenery on Christmas morning is the tree and the wreath over the mantle.

Gift cards and gift certificates are banned as well. I don't give them as Christmas gifts and would not be happy to receive one, especially from my husband or children. While the kids are of an age where my word still carries some weight, my rule will persist. Spend the time and buy me an actual gift, because that's what I plan to do for you.

The boys and my husband maintain that they don't know what I want, need or like. I find this perplexing as we live in the same house 365 days a year. How is it that I know their likes, dislikes and needs, yet they know nothing of mine?

My frying pan is held together with EB Green, they get annoyed when they see me in their sweatshirts or socks. They know my passion for gardening and reading, my love of knickknacks, candles and crossword puzzles. They see me in my coffee-stained pajamas, my empty bottles of lotions clutter the bathroom, and they hear about my sore feet on a regular basis. And yet, they don't know what to get me.

It comes down to this: They want to avoid decision-making, go the easy route, and give a gift certificate so I choose my own gift.

Most women want a gift that reveals how well the giver knows them. They want to know the giver searched for the gift. We are not looking for the perfect gift, just one that makes us feel loved, special, and fitting for the relationship.

I am fantasizing here, but if one of my boys or my husband handed me a gift and said, “When I saw this, I thought of you,” that would be the best gift of all — provided it wasn't a self-improvement book, tummy trimmer or a Dirt Devil.

Like everything, everyone's situation is different and gifts of money or certificates can be appropriate in certain circumstances, particularly when the giver has physical limitations, is elderly, or if it's a long-distance relationship.

Not everyone has the instinct for gift giving. It can be difficult in conveying how you feel about someone in the form of a gift. Not wanting to face the dilemma of what to get for fear of a lack of creativity or originality should not be an acceptable reason. Some certificate givers may have tried like the dickens (hey, it's Christmas) to find the right gift. If in good conscience you feel you've done that, then by all means give a gift certificate, just not to me.

Imagine the five of us standing at the tree on Christmas morning, me in the afore-mentioned jammies, all exchanging envelopes. Not exactly a Kodak moment. Now envision boxes in pretty wrapping and bows, kids climbing under the tree in pursuit of gifts with a tag that has their name, or even better, watching the faces as the recipients open the gifts you took the time to find.

Pass the camera.

This is the opinion of Joyce Conlon.



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