Giving is second nature to Stonington High senior Skylar Bareford

Stonington - Skylar Bareford is listing her favorite things about Christmas: hope, Christianity, family.

"I love Christmas," said Bareford, a 17-year-old senior at Stonington High School, where she captains the girls' basketball team. "It's such a celebration of hope. … People are giving. Christmas makes people think of giving. You see the happiness on kids; it's fun. And I like to be with my family. We're close."

So then know this about Bareford.

With a sense of charity and hope that belies her age, by her definition it would be Christmas every day.

"I think she inspires my team," Stonington coach Paulla Solar said recently of Bareford, a starting guard for the Bears (4-1). "It keeps us all focused. It brings us all back to the real world and reminds us we're fortunate. There are people that don't have what we have. We take all this for granted. Skylar periodically brings us back to that.

"It helps me. Having her as a captain, she's an example of what we're trying to do."

Bareford, ranked second academically in her class, has many endeavors to her credit. The president of the National Honor Society, a week ago she organized an initiative called "Bears Care!" designed to have spectators at the Stonington-East Lyme girls' basketball game donate non-perishable food items for the Pawcatuck Neighborhood Center. The day after, she was helping run a Christmas party for underprivileged children.

One of her most rewarding moments in giving came in the summer of 2008 on a 10-day trip she took to Ecuador along with nine other members of her church. The entourage brought approximately 700 pairs of shoes in their checked suitcases, with just a few necessities for themselves in their carry-ons. Bareford's group visited churches and distributed the shoes to children in need, including one young boy whose toes were curled and sore from wearing ill-fitting shoes.

"It was really, really sad," Bareford said of that one particular boy. "But he had the biggest smile. He said 'gracias' 3,000 times within the five minutes I was with him.

"… We washed their feet, lotioned them and put their shoes and socks on. The kids were so cute. To me, it showed me that God loves every person no matter where they come from."

(Home) school days

Bareford was home-schooled through the eighth grade by her mother, Lila, who has since resumed her career as a nurse. Her father, David, a marine artist, also worked from home and Bareford's grandparents lived within walking distance.

That's where she said she got her strong foundation, watching the way her parents treated people and the way her grandmother would send greeting cards, for instance, as a kindness. The family also has a strong allegiance to the Groton Bible Chapel, which helps shape her faith.

But Bareford, despite being an only child, was hardly closed off from the world as a youngster, earning a junior black belt in karate, playing softball in the Pawcatuck Little League and at the travel level and competing with the Mystic Middle School girls' basketball team along with fellow Stonington senior co-captain Caroline Gosselin.

Bareford, who fights the myth she speaks of with a vivacious, engaging demeanor, said there seems to be a stereotype of home-schooled students that "they don't talk and are weird."

"People are just people," she said. "We're not socially inadequate."

It's perhaps that attitude that eased her transition when it came time to attend high school. At the point Bareford needed to take chemistry and calculus, she would have needed to take them online. She also wanted to compete athletically at the high school level, where she now partakes in three sports.

That's not to say she wasn't a little bit nervous about attending school, but Bareford felt ready, nonetheless.

"I felt very prepared academically. And nothing scared me about being with other people," she said. "I know who I am as a person. I know what I believe in. I have strong moral values and the world … by God's grace, there's nothing that's going to sway me."

David Bareford said he believed his daughter's gregariousness would carry her through, but thought, at the very least, there may be a little culture shock adapting to a new environment.

"I think we're very pleased, pleased for her sake, not ours," David Bareford said of Skylar's achievements thus far. "Obviously all parents are hoping and wishing for their children that they can have as good, if not a better, life than we had. All her achievements are exciting for us. They portend a wonderful future.

"She really is a fine young lady."

Bears follow their leader

Bareford had her best game for the girls' basketball team this winter with seven points and four rebounds in a 63-58 victory at New London on Dec. 11. It was the day after the team's worst day of the season, a 69-45 defeat against Bacon Academy.

In a close game against New London, which Stonington would eventually win by making 27 free throws, Bareford made a few pivotal shots, including knocking in a 3-pointer.

"(The Bacon loss) was good from the perspective it made me say to myself, 'What are you here for? You have to be a factor.' I need to go out there and do something," Bareford said. "(Against New London), those free throws were awesome. People weren't crumbling under pressure."

"Just her presence and her positiveness," Solar said. "The game against Bacon, if your captains come out of that hanging their heads, you could be in trouble. She had the attitude, 'Let's come out and work harder.' She's a very unique girl."

The girls' basketball team next plays at 8:15 p.m. Saturday against Exeter-West Greenwich in the Westerly Holiday Tournament.

Bareford also captained the Stonington girls' cross country team, which won its first Eastern Connecticut Conference title in program history this fall, tying for first with Bacon Academy in the league's Medium Division.

In addition, she plays softball and is expected to compete for time at pitcher and in the outfield this spring.

Does she get frustrated at times athletically? Sure.

"I do get disappointed, but you need to get things in perspective," she said.

Perspective is made easy for her by the work she does regularly handing out clothing and food to the homeless in New London, something she does as part of a group called Malta, run out of the Pleasant Valley Community of Prayer and Praise in Groton.

"You can't help them as much as you want to, but you're giving them a thing for right now," Bareford said.

She wishes to make a career of giving, hoping to major in health and human performance with a minor in Spanish - she has yet to choose a college - so that she can travel to foreign countries and fulfill a Christian vocation.

Giving, it seems, comes easily to Bareford.

And this is just the season for it.