'Millionaire Matchmaker' Patti Stanger tells it like it is

What, you were expecting Emily Post?

With "Millionaire Matchmaker" Patti Stanger, you get exactly what you'd gleefully hope for. She's jackhammer tough. She's Tourette's-level honest. And she's terribly entertaining.

As she helpfully informs us during a recent phone interview, "I'm from New York and New Jersey. I have no patience."

So let's get right to her bio: Stanger, a third-generation matchmaker, founded the Millionaire's Club in 2000, a matchmaking service for millionaires. Since 2008, she's starred in the Bravo TV show inspired by the club.

She is hitting Mohegan Sun on Saturday - conveniently, the day before Valentine's - for a personal appearance and to sign copies of her book "Become Your Own Matchmaker."

In anticipation of that, let's get right to some of Stanger's blunt bons mots about love.

On the fact that so many of the millionaires on her show seem to ignore her advice:

My real business isn't like that. People who spend $50,000 and up are not going to ignore (my advice). But this is a TV show, and they're not paying me as a member. They're going on the show for free. They're paying for their dates, and they think they know everything. ... The men in the show are not my real clients, nor are the women. They're cast, because they have to go through the legal department and everything. And a lot of my clients are older. The average age for one of my millionaires is 46.

What makes her a good matchmaker (her mother and grandmother were matchmakers as well):

I basically read body language and energy. I don't just read what you say. I read how you project and what you're thinking. I guess it's psychic. My mother says we're psychic.

The biggest mistake that men make and that women make in dating:

Guys tend to not follow through. They tell everybody they're going to call them, they talk about the future, and then they just fall off the radar. Women TMI it. They tell too much information on the first date after too many cocktails, as if that's the entrance fee to meet a new best friend. I think women need more of a mystery, not to give away the goods so fast. And men need to start following through because we don't believe you anymore.

Her advice for guys on Valentine's Day:

The first thing you have to understand is that you'd better plan something. Men have to spend some coin. If you're in this cheap economy right now and you can't spend more than $50, you know what, you can go to the movies and buy popcorn and take her to see 'Valentine's Day' the movie. ... I'm the spokesman for 1-800-Flowers this year. Their bouquets are $50, $60 and under.

You're going to get - I hate to say this - laid if you go out and buy her dinner. To just ignore it and give her a Hallmark card, kiss your summer goodbye because that girl's going to be mean to you for the next six months.

Her advice for John Edwards:

OK, here's what I want to do. I want to take Tiger Woods, John Mayer, John Edwards, Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, and we'll throw another girl in, maybe Jessica Simpson. Let's put them all in singles rehab. Let's get them all cleaned up before they even touch another human being.

I think he's worse than Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods has an addiction. John Edwards was pretending to be an all-encompassing, good ol' boy president, and I thought that was the biggest joke I have ever heard in my life. At the same time, denying paternity - this little girl didn't do anything. His wife was having breast cancer. I mean, this is the most heinous thing that someone can do. And then to have someone paid off to pretend they're the father.

Chalking up her outspokenness to being a Gemini, saying that Geminis tell it like it is:

We just don't have time. Why? I live in a town that's evasive. L.A. is the most evasive place in the world, and I can't stand it. I just like to solutionize and get it done. And why not tell people what I'm thinking? It's not like I'm trying to be mean. I'm actually giving information.

Women go, "Why do you not like redheads?" I don't not like redheads - I love redheads. Millionaire men don't date redheads, 99 percent of the time. So if I tell you you're not getting any play for the last 10 years as a redhead, change your haircolor to dark. See what happens. You can always go back to red. Is that such a horrible thing?

k.dorsey@theday.com