Dad class: Backus Hospital program helps fathers-to-be become fathers

It was the oddest place — given the big screen, roomful of guys and pizza boxes strewn all over the place — for discussion of diapers, diaper creams, crib rails, nesting or the immortal "rectal temperatures tell us the core body temperature, so they are the most accurate."

Full disclosure: That last one made us fidget.

But at least now you have your first foray into the "Dr. Dad" classes that ran last month at the William W. Backus Hospital in Norwich.

More disclosure: I didn't attend them to write this story. I attended them because I'm going to be a dad. My wife and I are in the process of adoption. So this seemed as good a time as any to learn the finer points of CPR, swaddling, man purses, car seats, lead paint hazards and (gulp) rectal thermometers.

"I'm going to be a better father," student Michael Glenn of Waterford said, "because of what I learned here."

"Dr. Dad" is a program from the National Fatherhood Initiative, which encourages fathers to build parenting skills, confidence and ultimately their relationships with their children.

"It's about giving men the resources they need to be involved with their newborns and the knowledge and skills needed to raise a child," program co-instructor Gabe Fonseca said.

Fonseca is a program manager at Madonna Place in Norwich, a family support center. He taught "Dr. Dad" with Patrick Sheehan-Gaumer, a case manager and group facilitator.

Fonseca wrote a grant proposal to the National Fatherhood Initiative three years ago that was impressive enough for Madonna Place to receive the "Dr. Dad" curriculum. They found a willing partner in Backus Hospital, where classes have been taught since 2007, sometimes four per year.

"Interaction with all the guys, and all of the back and forth with each other — I got a lot out of it," said Chris Schaeffer of Ledyard.

"A lot of guys are going through what we are and it's good to talk about it with each other," said class member Bobby Kelly of Norwich. "Plus, our co-workers are sick of hearing about it."

The classes focused on child safety and home safety. But Fonseca's informal presentation gave the classes a relaxed feel, a forum for expectant fathers to exchange stories and know they're not alone in their angst.

"There are a lot of positive implications when dads are involved with their kids," said Fonseca, a new father. "We love teaching the class. Dads are hungry for the information and there's a good sense of camaraderie."

For example, Fonseca reminded his students that "directions are not suggestions," a syndrome that afflicts men of all ages. Later, he was in the middle of a diaper changing exercise when he told the class that many diapers today have wetness indicators: when they're wet, they turn blue.

"Like a Coors Light can," Schaeffer said.

Now there's an illustration no guy can forget.

m.dimauro@theday.com