Plans are underway for an official “No ‘Awesome,’ No ‘Absolutely’ Day.”

You will not, under threat of savage and swift retribution, be allowed to say either “awesome” or “absolutely” for an entire 24-hour period.

Because, after all, there ARE synonyms for both of those words. Perfectly good ones, too. I find “tremendous” and “sensational” and “magnificent” work very well when I feel I’ve used “awesome” too much. If you’re alliterative and simply enjoy the “a” sound at the top, try “astonishing.”

As for “absolutely” as an affirmation, well, “affirmative” might work for you. “Yes” is also good. “Betcha dupa.” Military folks have a million cool-sounding ways to convey “absolutely” with the added bonus that you sound like a Navy SEAL. “Roger that.” “Wilco.” Or, you can say nothing, just meaningfully convey “yes” by narrowing your eyes to sinister slits just before you glide silently behind an enemy and literally tear his or her femoral artery from deep inside his or her thigh -- in a fashion Dalton could only dream about in the Roadhouse that is surely his heaven.

Oh, as for music, I must say: getting ready in a few days to review Kanye and Jay Z in concert behind their massively successful and collaborative Watch the Throne album. So far, my listening experience is not, ah, very awesome.

I say that not solely as a 56-year-old white guy who can safely be presumed to NOT be a member of Jay Z's and Kanye’s target demographic — but at the same time as someone who has enjoyed a lot of hip-hop, some of it made by Jay Z and some by Kanye, and some of it made before Kanye was born. I’m absolutely no expert, but, listening several times, for example, to “N___as in Paris,” a number one hit for the duo, I am confident in suggesting it’s one of the laziest, most cretinous songs I’ve ever heard. Advance reports suggest they perform it not once but several times each night on tour. Not looking forward to that. (I'd also include a link so you can conveniently listen, but, naah. It sucks too much.)

When the great Notorious B.I.G. sneezed blood, it was better than this. When Eric B. empties his trash, it's better than this. When Eminem heads into the restroom -- well, you get the idea.

Oh. Also: Kanye and Jay Z felt it necessary, in the fashion of rappers everywhere, to ruin a pre-existing R&B classic. (Remember how cool Rick James' “Super Freak was before that MC Hammer goofball ruined it?). Wait til you hear what K&J have done with Otis Redding’s used-to-be-immortal “Try a Little Tenderness?” It's called "Otis," and I’ll never be able to hear the original again without wanting to take an aspirin.

Before the show, which is Nov. 18 at the Mohegan Sun Arena, I’ll listen more comprehensively to Throne. Meanwhile, by all reports, the two stars are demonstrating amazing energy and chemistry during the performances. We’ll see what happens.