For years, it was my wish that I'd be cremated — though hopefully not until I was dead.

But now, what with the stylistic explosion of designs in the casket business, I'm not so sure. For example, coffins emblazoned with idyllic, cover-of-Field-and-Stream-esque scenes of golf, hunting and fishing should certainly appeal to a demographic of older folks who are, after all, more likely to die sooner rather than later.

In that spirit, what could be more soothing than seeing Grampy at rest in a steel sarcophagus boasting a pastoral scene of a camouflage-clad guy with a sniper's rifle, blowing a deer into hell!

More to the point, these reminded me of coffins featuring the likenesses of the members of Kiss. Now, the Kiss coffins have have actually been around for a while, but I keep hoping enterprising death-graphics folks will branch out beyond just Kiss — as per the hunting and fishing boxes — and maybe have more rocking designs such as Rory Gallagher with his battered Strat or perhaps the tender cover of Porcupine Tree's In Absentia album.

We'll see what happens.

Meanwhile, business ventures linking rock stars with other products continue to flourish. In addition to old school type t-shirt/poster/coffee mug merch, the marketplace features new products like rock star comics, rocker vineyards, rock dude tequilas, platinum band video games, and so on.

The strategy seems to be, if you're a big enough fan of a particular artist — and, like me, you're a big enough idiot — you'll presumably buy anything related to your heroes.

I do wonder, though, if classic rockers Styx have perhaps overestimated their fan base's willingness to part with cash. I say this because, yesterday, I received an email press release announcing a new "Diana Warner for Styx" jewelry line — and that pre-orders are being accepted in time for the holidays!

The music of Styx — some of which I liked quite a bit back in the day — suggests many things, mostly toothache-inducing vocals. Nothing about their work, though, screams, "Earrings!"

When I was listening and rocking out to the Equinox album and screeching along with the top-volume eight-track on "Lorelei" (who, according to the song, now that I think about it, will "live forever" and, as such, never be in need of a casket, Kiss or otherwise), I did NOT speculate about jewelry. No charms or bracelets.

I DID think about pot, I'll admit — and even at that point in my admiration for the band I thought about how much Dennis DeYoung's vowel-punishing reminded me of slowly and deliberately popping one of my eyes with the business end of an offset shark hook.

But I didn't think of jewelry.

Merry Christmas, I say!

Styx and Diana Warner offer plenty of fun, including guitar pick earrings, dog tag necklaces and — I hope you're reading this, Santa — antique gold and silver charms with a choice of lyrics engraved thereupon: "Come Sail Away With Me," "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto," "Laydeeeeeee, when you're with me I'm smiiiiiiiling," or "Oh mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law" (the latter two being available only in a really large size).

Well, hell, I lied.

Truth told, there's only one "lyric" charm available from the Styx collection, and that would be the "Come sail away with me" model. But I'm just trying to give Diana and Syx some ideas on how to "expand the brand," as the business wizards like to say.

Can Lemmy jewelry be far behind?