Miss Ginny: 'If you don't do it, who will?'

Groton

If volunteering was a competitive sport, then Miss Ginny, a diminutive but dynamic octogenarian, would still have game.

Miss Ginny is Virginia Ager, 85, a lifelong resident of Groton who enjoys her garden, hour-long walks and being outdoors.

She has been in the volunteer game since the early 1990s, not long after her last employer, the Brian Alden Co., went out of business.

"When he stopped working, so did I," she said in a recent interview, just before cutting loose with an old-fashioned belly laugh. She loves laughing.

Every Tuesday for the past 15 years, Ager has helped 3- and 4-year-old children prepare for school by reading to them under the auspices of the Child and Family Agency, including the past 12 in the agency's Early Childhood Development Center on Poquonnock Road.

She started at the Bill Memorial Library in the City of Groton, where she still goes to get books for her Tuesday sessions.

"I've been here since it opened," she said. "I love reading to the children."

Ager is also part of the "Polar Express" team that shops for the Child and Family's annual adopt-a-family Christmas drive, using funds donated by the agency's women's auxiliary. This year the auxiliary provided gifts to six families, including more than 20 people. She also manages the men's department at the agency's annual tag sale.

Thursdays she can be found dressed in her period costume at the Mystic Seaport Museum's rowing exhibit. On Saturday mornings she's at the opposite end of the Poquonnock Road plaza, putting in a few hours at the charity book store. She also served some time, and some meals, at a community meal center.

"I volunteer all the time, at any place. It makes no difference," she said. "You gotta help. What are you going to do, wait for somebody else to do it? Well, maybe they're waiting for you. So if you don't do it, who will?

She asks the question, then offers an answer.

"Really," she says, leaning forward with a twinkling eye and a witty smile, as if she's about to tell a secret she knows will bring joy, "Most people are good. They really are. But you know that, right?"

She counts among the good people her late husband Robert, who died in 1981, with whom she raised Robert Jr., Jeanne and Suzanne.

Robert was born in Paris, France, and went to college at the University of Alabama.

"That's the only time I lived outside of Connecticut," she said. "But we didn't like it there and came right back after college."

She loves living in Groton and her Eastwood Road neighborhood where she has lived since returning from Alabama. She and her neighbors go to dinner together once a week, taking turns choosing a restaurant. Sometimes she makes the meal and they come to her house. She said one neighbor is a widow, the other a widower. She lives in the middle of these two friends, with her "special friend," Pete Fichera. She said she's not trying to be a matchmaker.

"Heavens, no." She laughed heartily. " Hey, whatever happens, happens." She laughed some more.

She said she and Fichera, a well-reputed volunteer in his own right, have been friends for about 12 years.

"I guess you can call him my boyfriend," she said. "He really is a special friend, though. Sometimes he comes with me to read to the children."

He also volunteers beside her at the Seaport on Thursdays.

"We met at the soup kitchen," he said. "She was making salad. I was the crew chief. I said 'how are you,' and all that jazz. And we just kept talking."

He learned quickly that they shared a joy of laughter and, in more serious moments, that she had a special needs grandson.

"We needle each other all the time," he said. "The thing is, we understand each other. It's a wonderful way to communicate."

So is food.

"She told me about her grandson, Robbie, so I brought a pie to her house for him. She told me what a nice guy I was," Fichera said. "I kept bringing pies and she kept telling me what a nice guy I was. So I kept bringing those pies and ...."

He laughed like she laughs.

And, according to other sources, Mr. Pete is special not only to Miss Ginny. Clarissa Miles, site manager at the Early Childhood Development Center, said Mr. Pete has become a Tuesday reader, too.

"Sometimes he comes. The kids love him. This is a man in their life. Some of them need that. He's her boyfriend, so it's like a couple relationship. It really is a beautiful thing. They adore him as much as they do her. And they love her."

Miles said Ager has a lot to offer the children and gets a lot of out of giving to them as well

"Surely they get something back in return," she said. "She's an elderly woman who still feels vibrant and has a lot to offer."

Miles said Ager's charming vigor helps build a family atmosphere at the center, too.

"I love how our small center functions like a family," she said. "Miss Ginny puts her feet on the floor every day and makes the most of it by giving to others. That's what she is about, and her energy fits what this agency is about. She exhibits the spirit that I want to see ooze from the walls over here."

Ager said she has never questioned what makes her volunteer. That, she said, might make the whole thing too complicated.

"I think everyone likes to feel needed. It's one of the most important things in life," she said. "I'm just being myself. I don't know what makes me tick. I'm just doing things to be a good person. I do it because I love people, I love the world and want to help make it a better place. It's pretty simple. I'm very happy."

c.potter@theday.com