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Fritos Make the Whole World Better - And Taco Bell Knows This

By Rick Koster

Publication: TheDay.com

Published 03/03/2012 12:00 AM
Updated 03/03/2012 09:17 AM

Sometimes, advertising really works.


Of course, it helps if you’re a gullible stooge with a feisty jones for fast food savories. (No, “fast food” and “savories” is not necessarily a contradiction, at least according to a man — er, stooge — who actually LIKES McRibs. And that would be me.)


Anyway, the other night, we were watching a stunning cartoon production of Troilus and Cressida on MTV. Just after Foghorn Leghorn (playing Achilles) orchestrates the death of Barney Rubble (in the role of Hector) cries, “So, Ilion, fall thou next! Now, Troy, sink down!” — they cut to commercial! In mid-speech!


I hate it when they do that.


And, yet … in this case, it was a Taco Bell commercial advertising another new menu item — the Beefy Crunch Burrito. It’s basically the same thing as their other beef burritos, which is to say it incorporates a sawdusty ground beef mixture, “seasoned rice,” riverine nacho cheese sauce and sour cream in a flour tortilla. The difference? The Bell Folks, in a visionary burst of inspiration not experienced on our planet since Descartes yawned and muttered, “Cogito ergo sum,” add “Flamin’ Hot Fritos” to the blueprint. Spicy Fritos on top of the beefy burrito!


And you can buy one of these for a very reasonable one dollar!


The next day, I bought three!


And, by God, I’m glad I did.


The only bad part: if you can’t eat all three and leave one in the refrigerator over night, the crispy, crunchy factor or the spicy Fritos breaks down significantly, taking on a consistency of wet drywall. Perhaps, then, don’t get too ambitious and know the limits of your own appetite. Otherwise, enjoy!

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