Cellphone Towers in State Parks: Answering Nature’s Call

What is it with wacky environmentalists who are fighting to block construction of cellphone towers in state parks and forests?

Next thing you know they’ll be trying to keep ATVs and dirt bikes from using the trails.

The problem isn’t too many towers, it’s too few of them. When’s the last time you got more than one bar on your Nokia while out in some godforsaken boondocks?

What would happen if you got lost and couldn’t get a signal? Do you think the Sierra Club, which is urging the Connecticut General Assembly to shoot down a law to allow wilderness tower construction, would go looking for you?

This raises another question: How come the state doesn’t permit fast-food restaurants, motels or convenience stores in parks and forests? What’s up with that?

How many times has this happened to you: You’ve been walking for a half-hour or more and start to get light-headed because you haven’t had a bite to eat since those pancakes, sausages, home fries and cinnamon buns at breakfast. At the very least there should be vending machines so you can bring up your blood sugar with a few Devil Dogs or bags of pork rinds.

And would it kill anybody if there were a Motel 6 or two? What are you supposed to do if it rains? Sleep in a tent? Puh-leeze.

And what about replacing those port-a-potties with modern plumbing? Have you ever set foot in one of those outhouses? Nuff said.

Eco-terrorists are ruining it for everybody just because they think the wilderness is something special. What’s so wonderful about mosquitoes, deer ticks or poison ivy? Isn’t that why they invented Raid and Roundup?

Back to cellphone towers: They make ‘em now that blend right in with the surrounding terrain, so what’s the big deal?

All you see is what looks like a 400-foot redwood towering over a bunch of puny pines and hemlocks. Heck, people might even go out of their way to see the giant “tree.” You could charge admission.

It’s time to get your heads out of the swamp, all you so-called conservationists, and join the 21st century.

When it comes to cellphone towers, it’s time to answer nature’s call.

 

 

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