Cellphone Towers in State Parks: Answering Nature’s Call

What is it with wacky environmentalists who are fighting to block construction of cellphone towers in state parks and forests?

Next thing you know they’ll be trying to keep ATVs and dirt bikes from using the trails.

The problem isn’t too many towers, it’s too few of them. When’s the last time you got more than one bar on your Nokia while out in some godforsaken boondocks?

What would happen if you got lost and couldn’t get a signal? Do you think the Sierra Club, which is urging the Connecticut General Assembly to shoot down a law to allow wilderness tower construction, would go looking for you?

This raises another question: How come the state doesn’t permit fast-food restaurants, motels or convenience stores in parks and forests? What’s up with that?

How many times has this happened to you: You’ve been walking for a half-hour or more and start to get light-headed because you haven’t had a bite to eat since those pancakes, sausages, home fries and cinnamon buns at breakfast. At the very least there should be vending machines so you can bring up your blood sugar with a few Devil Dogs or bags of pork rinds.

And would it kill anybody if there were a Motel 6 or two? What are you supposed to do if it rains? Sleep in a tent? Puh-leeze.

And what about replacing those port-a-potties with modern plumbing? Have you ever set foot in one of those outhouses? Nuff said.

Eco-terrorists are ruining it for everybody just because they think the wilderness is something special. What’s so wonderful about mosquitoes, deer ticks or poison ivy? Isn’t that why they invented Raid and Roundup?

Back to cellphone towers: They make ‘em now that blend right in with the surrounding terrain, so what’s the big deal?

All you see is what looks like a 400-foot redwood towering over a bunch of puny pines and hemlocks. Heck, people might even go out of their way to see the giant “tree.” You could charge admission.

It’s time to get your heads out of the swamp, all you so-called conservationists, and join the 21st century.

When it comes to cellphone towers, it’s time to answer nature’s call.

 

 

Reader Comments

MORE BLOGS

Go Ahead Hornet, Make My Day: Dispatch from the Front Lines of the Bug Wars

Every year at this time, just as we’re enjoying favorite outdoor activities after having been bundled up, hunkered down or cooped up all winter, a Pandora’s Box of stinging, blood-sucking, destructive, disease-spreading insects...

Swimming and Kayaking Among Snapping Turtles: Be Glad At Least There Aren't Any Komodo Dragons or Saltwater Crocodiles Nearby

While kayaking on Bush Pond on the Ledyard/North Stonington border the other day I noticed something thrashing around among the lily pads.

Kayaking With a Migrating Son Amid Migrating Seals on Fishers Island

With our son, Tom, back home in Connecticut for just a week from Washington State’s Olympic Peninsula, we’ve tried to pack in an abundance of such favorite activities as whitewater kayaking, frigid plunges in the lake and running with...

Who Needs Clean Air and Pure Water? Bring Back Unrestricted Strip Mining, DDT and Toxic Waste Dumps to Make America Great Again

The main problem with President Donald Trump’s efforts to boost the economy by eliminating oppressive environmental regulations is that they don’t go far enough.

The Good Book Has It Backwards: To Every Season, There Is More Than One Thing

Forget about what Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says (and Pete Seeger sang) about "To everything there is a season.' As far as I’m concerned, it’s always the right time for fun and adventure.

Kayaking Over the Falls on the Salmon River

The thunder of tumbling water roared as I gripped my paddle the other day, waiting my turn to plunge over a 4-foot drop at a broken dam on the Salmon River in East Hampton.

Home Is Where the Hut Is (Warning: Don't Read Part of This if You Have a Weak Stomach)

Embarking on a winter expedition to Mount Katahdin a few years ago, I hooked up with a few casual acquaintances accompanied by other climbers I only met just as we began the long drive from southeastern Connecticut to northern Maine.

Cross-Country Skiing and Snowshoeing in New Hampshire's White Mountains, Part I: A Voice in the Wilderness Saves the Day

While snowshoeing on a tamped-down section of the Ethan Pond Trail in New Hampshire’s White Mountains the other day, our group approached an untrammeled stretch of the Zeacliff Trail that descended into a ravine below frozen-over Whitehall...

Who Doesn't Love a Blizzard? (OK, Maybe a Few Softies and Killjoys)

I know there’s a good chance I’ll be eating these words when I’m shoveling, shoveling, shoveling, or huddled with a candle next to the wood stove while melting snow for drinking water after the power has been knocked out for...

Destructive Deer, Bugs, Vines and Snow: It's Always Something

In a "perfect" world – i.e., one in which all living creatures and meteorological phenomena benefited human comfort and bowed to our supremacy – there would be no need for deer fences, bird netting, herbicides,...

Prime Time for Eagle-Watching by Kayak on the Connecticut River

While kayaking just north of Lyme’s Hamburg Cove on the Connecticut River the other day, Robin Francis, Phil Warner and I watched a wildlife drama unfolding above us.