Do you get your copy of Golf Digest, read the instruction section and immediately make a change in your golf swing, costing yourself four strokes? I do.
Do you prefer Arizona over Florida for no other reason than the ball flies farther in Arizona? I do.
Have you ever bought a putter on E-Bay simply because a guy you play with really putts well with it? I have.
Do you use a poker chip as a ball marker because it looks cool even though others say it looks like someone tossed a hubcap onto the green? I do.
Do you sometimes think that matching the color of your golf shoes to your belt is actually more important than your putting stroke? I do.
Do you sometimes look like Doug Sanders and play like Colonel Sanders? I do.
Have you ever refused a beer on the golf course because you think it might affect your concentration on the two-dollar Nassau you are playing? I have.
Upon buying a new driver, do you fear it’s already obsolete and you must find the “one” that will that add 50 yards to your drive? I do.
Have you ever taken a putter with you on a golf trip, used it for one hole, three-jacked and then thrown the putter like a boomerang into the first body of water you see? I have.
Have you ever bought a club to play a specific hole on a golf course you are likely never to play again? I have.
Have you ever said, “Let’s play the tips” only to realize that this crazy act of bravado is likely to put you into triple digits? I have.
Have you ever bet more money than you had in your pocket? I have.
Playing against a “wise guy?” I have.
And lived to tell about it? I have.
Have you ever engaged in a fit of self-criticism so intense that your partners called the suicide hotline? I have.
Have you ever been to a PGA Tour event and foolishly proclaimed, “I could make that putt under the same pressure?” I have.
Have you ever had a near-death experience in a recklessly driven golf cart? I have.
Have you ever used words like tif-dwarf, hydro-seeding, and preventative aerification as if you really understood what they mean? I have.
And I just made up “preventative aerification.”
Have you ever said to yourself in an act of supreme self-delusion, “if I just could have started earlier, gotten the proper instruction, yada, yada, yada.” I have.
After a huge drive by your opponent that ultimately results in a double bogey, have you ever uttered my favorite Donneeism, “nice drive?” I have.
Have you ever thought that golf occupies a somewhat unhealthy portion of your life?
Actually, I never have.
This week’s nominee for the golfer everyone should get a chance to play with at least once in their life is………Marc Ginsberg of Stonington CC. Marc was the first player I ever coached in my career as a baseball coach and no player was ever more fun to be with. When we were both young members at NLCC we played a lot of golf together and the enjoyment continued. There aren’t many nicer people I have known and if you want a competitive round with a lot of laughs, Marc is the ticket.
Jim O’Neill is a member at Great Neck CC.