DEAR ABBY: I'm married to the love of my life. My wife is a beautiful woman, 50 years old, in great shape and she looks 35. My problem is whenever we go out, if I ask her to wear something sexy for me, she always says, "I'm too old to dress like that" and refuses. But when she dresses for work, she spends hours on her appearance and dresses very sexy.

I have told her it bothers me, but she says I'm being silly and she just wants to look good for her management job. She's constantly buying new outfits for work. This morning she left wearing a sexy short miniskirt and boots.

She is an independent woman who does what she wants. I don't spend my time trying to control her by any means. I trust her and seriously doubt there's another man. But I feel this is a matter of her not respecting my feelings as her husband. Am I wrong? Is there something else going on here? I need your help.

-Likes Her Sexy in Connecticut

DEAR LIKES HER SEXY: There's something sad about the fact that your wife doesn't want to put the same amount of effort into looking as good when she goes out with you as she does when she leaves for work. Rather than turning this into a power struggle, the next time you want to take her out looking sexy, ask her to just "throw on something she would wear to the office" and see if you have better luck.

DEAR ABBY: I am 18 and will be graduating in May of next year. Because I have always done well in school, my family expects me to go right off to a big-league college.

Abby, I want to go to college, but not right away. (I am also not too fond of staying in dorms.) I want to be a zoologist and plan on going to school for it, but I feel that my family is rushing me into college because they expect it of me. When I tell them my other interest is hairstyling, and I may want to take a year off to do that to save up money, they put me down and compare me to my successful college cousins.

I want my family to be proud of me because I have worked hard in school. I only wish they would be just as proud of me if I maintained a nice job for a few years and then went to college. (I have been told if I choose that path, I will never go to college and I'll never make good money.)

They also blame my not wanting to go to college right away on my boyfriend of two years. I assure you, that is not the reason. I want to attend an in-state college, and I would still be able to see him. Do you have any advice?

-Schooled-Out in Colorado

DEAR SCHOOLED-OUT: The longer you delay college, the more distractions there will be and the harder it will be for you to go back. Yes, people do it. But juggling a job and going to school is more difficult than going to school full-time, and it takes longer to get the degree. I urge you to listen to your parents. They have your best interests at heart.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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