To my very best (childless) friend:

I miss you.  Alot.  Like really, really miss you.  Having two kids to your none really changes the dynamic of things.  I used to pride myself in my awesome ability to call people back.  Remember when I used to call you back?  Like within twenty-four hours?  Those were the days. 

We haven't talked in months, or seen each other in even more months.  I have a secret to confess--sometimes, when you call me, I ignore your call.  Actually, that happens a lot of the time.  Because I know there is no way in hell I will be able to finish a sentence, nevermind a whole conversation and I remember being childless and not understanding that.  Let me just tell you how a conversation with me would play out:

Me: HI

You: HI, How are you?

Me: I'm good, you know busy with the kids.  What's that buddy?  You have to poop?  Ok, let me know when you are done.  What was I saying?

You: Just wondering what's new with you?

Me: Not much, I mean, you know the kids are...Oh, you are done?  Ok, I'm coming.  Hold on one second.  Yes, I'm coming to wipe you.  Ok, what did you just ask me?

You:  What's new, I asked you...

Me: Nothing really.  I don't know how we can not talk for 6 months and nothing can be new with me.  How bout you? 

You: Well, I just went to...

Me: ANIMAL!  Stop climbing up there, you are going to fall.  Sorry, what were you saying?

You: Just that I just went on vacation to...

Me: ANIMAL!  No hitting!  I know you are mad that you can't climb on the stove, but stop hitting your brother! Ok, what was that, childless, quiet and relaxed friend??

That was like a 2 minute snippet of our conversation that would get nowhere and would leave me feeling horrible that I couldn't talk, had to get off to soon, yelled in your ear and forgot to ask about you.  So, I ignore your calls.  It's for your own benefit.

And then, when I actually have quiet time I can't even muster up the energy to do anything other than sit on the couch and watch TV or play mindless games on my phone.  I should call you then.  I know I should.  And I don't. 

I know my friends with kids get this, being in the thick of it.  But I don't know if you do.  This is my open apology to being a sucky friend.  I'm confident that at some point we will speak again, hopefully sooner than later.  Because I need some childless friend time more than you know!