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Rick Koster offers weekly lists of ideas, notions and things that must be seen to be believed. This week: New Year's resolutions.
Journalism is evolving at warp speed, and it's only fair that I do my stylistic share to help finesse these changes. For example, the requisite "lack of bias" has always demanded words that do not suggest reader interpretation or color the facts.
Well, that's no fun. Here is a representative list of dry words I will henceforth banish - along with replacements I might randomly insert instead.
1. "The pastor said ..." Instead of "said," look for "trumpeted," "howled" or "harrumphed."
2. "The senator walked to the podium ..." Instead: the senator will have "gamboled," "scuttled" or "skipped daintily."
3. "A rep for the actress categorically denied the accusation ..." Instead: "a rep for the actress lied his ass off" or "the rep pointed off to one side, called, 'Hey, look, it's Ryan Reynolds!' and, when the press feebs turned to see, ran quickly in the other direction and hopped in a limo."