Rick's List: World Cup edition

Rick Koster offers weekly lists of ideas, notions and things that must be seen to be believed.

I've noticed folks wandering around with lunatic eyes, frothing at the mouth. No, it's not zombies or even some plague of rabies. Instead, that soccer thing has started. The Global Cup or whatever it's called. World Cup, that's it! Yes! Well, whee! For the next several weeks, the whole galaxy is playing and celebrating soccer.

Here are five things I'd rather do than follow the World Cup:

• Watch all 46 pre-opening-night rehearsals of a gangsta rap

adaptation of "Oklahoma."

• Mow the yard with my teeth.

• Host a Tea Party square-dance and hoedown in my living room.

• Host a square-dance and hoedown of ANY kind in my living room.

• Super-Glue baby carrots into my nostrils.

Having said all that, go USA!

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