Rick's List: Literary edition

Not to suggest I know more about writing than the acknowledged geniuses, but it's hard sometimes not to mentally reconfigure bits of classic literature. For example, here are a few of the greatest lines ever written - followed by my (possibly) superior rewrites.

1 "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." (From F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby.")

Koster version: "What's wrong with this stupid boat called Life? It's going in reverse!"

2 "Now small fowls flew screaming over the yet yawning gulf; a sullen white surf beat against its steep sides; then all collapsed, and the great shroud of the sea rolled on as it rolled five thousand years ago." (From Herman Melville's "Moby-Dick.")

Koster version: "I'm not sure how old or shroud-y the ocean is but, gee whiz, it sure seems like the waves never halt."

3 "God made the angels to show Him splendor, as He made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But Man He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of his mind." (Thomas More, from Robert Bolt's "A Man for All Seasons.")

Koster version: "I'm, ah, basically pretty sleepy."

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