And you thought the real theater would happen on the field. Nah. Soon enough, Derek Jeter will get this 3,000th hit. Tip of helmet, long ovation, ceremony, aw shucks, back to game.

The fun part ensues after all the hosannas: How will the A.J.J. (Anti-Jeter Jihad) pooh pooh this one?

You know they will. It's what they do. The A.J.J., founded by the pseudo intellectuals partial to sabermetrics - a means of measuring baseball through statistical analysis - who are turning the game into a mathematical morass. They use Jeter's fame to draw attention to their rhythms of stat geekery so someone will bother to read it. Figure if they used all their numbers, charts, figures, comparisons, matrices, conjugates, coefficients, parabolas and progressions to kill Asdrubal Cabrera, the reaction would be a group yawn.

Jeter's appeal, often beyond the boxscore, is fodder for the nerds. This time, though, Jeter will have a number: 3,000. It's a fairly significant number in the history of baseball, although admittedly, it's no OPS.

You can hear all the computers grinding their gears. Jeter is now included in an air of exclusivity. How can they talk down to us now? Can they twist the numbers like a ballpark pretzel to suggest 3,000 isn't what it used to be?

Jeter has always been a fascinating study. The centerpiece of five championship teams in 15 years. Clutch hitter. Dives into the stands to catch pop ups in July, emerging with a bloody face. Makes a back-handed flip to home plate in the playoffs to preserve a 1-0 win. And yet no great player in the history of the game has been subjected to as much esoteric criticism as the man Bob Sheppard still introduces at the Stadium.

He's a banjo hitter with no range.

Jeter's cachet is easier to understand if you see him every day, except that there isn't a corresponding number to what he brings. Rather than accepting Jeter as unique, the geeks dismiss the lack of empirical evidence as a flaw in his game. They have plenty of support, too, in an era of fantasy baseball where a player's worth is attached to how many points he scores Joe Average in his fantasy league.

It's certainly understandable that Jeter generates some negativity. He's the goodlooking shortstop that gets much of the credit for the success of the team that wins all the time. Some of it is part of the playful banter between Yankee fans and Red Sox fans back in the days of Nomah vs. Jeter.

I'd bet most Red Sox fans, save the occasional clods who take this stuff too seriously, have grudging respect for Jeter. Just as Yankee fans can appreciate Dustin Pedroia, who competes on every pitch. Maybe Jeter and Pedroia have something in common:

Pedroia's numbers are down from where they used to be. But is there any doubting at all the guy is as good as ever?

What the A.J.J. suggests about Jeter goes beyond banter. Their attempt at intimidating us through self-professed intellect is pathetic. But no more than the absurdities of their claims, like the one from earlier this season suggesting that Wade Boggs was a more similar player to Albert Pujols than you might think.

The following is from fangraphs.com. It is ponderous. But the best example of the incomprehensible quagmire that frames opinions about Jeter and others.

"The 1983 season saw Boggs hit .361/.444/.486. It was the first of what would be five times leading the American League in hitting and six times leading in getting on base.

"We only have Sean Smith's fielding numbers to tide us over during those years, but combined with playing third base and his tremendous hitting, Boggs finished second in WAR (to Cal Ripken) that season among all hitters in baseball.

"Boggs would drop to 12th in WAR (wins above replacement) in George Orwell's dystopian year, but he rebounded over the next five seasons to finish second, first, first, first and second. From 1986 through 1988, Boggs lead baseball in WAR each season and combined finished a whopping seven wins ahead of the next best hitter. He was prevented from grabbing the title of best overall player according to WAR by his teammate Roger Clemens.

"Only Barry Bonds (2001-04) has grabbed the MLB WAR pole position in three consecutive seasons since Boggs did it. Now, Wade Boggs was no Barry Bonds, but he sure was more impressive than I had been giving him credit for and in fact, if not for the three years of age difference, Boggs is a very similar player to Albert Pujols."

Perhaps Jeter could mix in the word "dystopian" during his next champagne celebration to make everyone feel at home.

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro.