Bravo ABC!

Wednesday night on the Alphabet network features four (count 'em!) brand spankin' new sitcoms starring some old faves, and a new drama that appears to be every chick show rolled into one, called Eastwick (Sept. 23).

Yes, it's modeled after the Cher/Susan Sarandon/Michelle Pfeiffer/Jack Nicholson movie that was modeled after the John Updike book.

It stars Rebecca Romjin (so it's got the Ugly Betty vibe), Lindsay Price (Lipstick Jungle thing going on) and Jaime Ray Newman (the Eureka aspect) as the witches. The promos look ... well let's just say they aren't making me think OMG! I've got to TiVo this!

The two-hour comedy block (Sept. 30) leading up to Eastwick starts at 8 with Hank, which stars Kelsey Grammer and comes via the brilliant James Burrows.

“A legendary entrepreneur in the sports retail world, Hank Pryor (Kelsey Grammer) and his wife, Tilly, have been living the high life in New York City. That is until Hank is forced out of his CEO job and has to downsize and move his family back home to the small town of River Bend, Virginia.” So, there's a Newhart aspect to it that I like, plus I love Kelsey Grammer. I'm checking it out.

Ironically (wait, is it? I don't know. I get irony al confused with coincidence), Hank is followed by The Middle, which stars Patricia Heaton, who co-starred with Grammer two years ago on Fox's terrific small time news show sitcom called Back To You.

“The Hecks are a middle class family living in the middle of Indiana, just trying to keep their heads above water. Emmy-winner Patricia Heaton stars as a wife and mother of three in a comedy about raising a family and lowering your expectations.” I'm no fan of Heaton in general (I loved her with Grammer though) so I'm likely going to not enjoy this.

Next up at 9 is Modern Family: “ 'Modern Family' is the story of three seemingly unrelated families as they share their stories to an unseen documentarian.” This sounds like the typical ABC sitcom, loud and messy and not for me. I do love Julie Bowen though, and the genius Christopher Lloyd is a cocreator.

At 9:30 comes Cougar Town, led by Courteney Cox as “an attractive and newly single 40-year-old mother of a teenage son.” It comes from Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence, which gives me hope that despite the stupid title, it might be good.

CBS, on the other hand, is not trying anything new tonight, with The New Adventures of Old Christine and Gary Unmarried returning Sept. 23, followed by Criminal Minds and CSI: NY.

Fox has So You Think You Can Dance and Glee, both of which started this week. Glee is AWESOME. Seriously, try it.

NBC has Mercy, which is about hot nurses. Well, technically it's about nurses, but I'm guessing none of them have club feet.

The network says: “Nurse Veronica Callahan (Taylor Schilling “Dark Matter”) has just returned to Mercy Hospital from a tour in Iraq and knows more about medicine than all of the residents combined. Together with fellow nurses Sonia Jimenez (Jaime Lee Kirchner, “Rescue Me”), who turns the heads of everyone at Mercy hospital and Chloe Payne (Michelle Trachtenberg, “Gossip Girl”), a naïve newcomer who learns to deal with the difficulties of working in a challenging and sometimes unsettling profession, they navigate the daily traumas and social land mines of life and love both inside the hospital and out in the real world.”

This starts Sept. 23, the same date that new episodes of L&O: SVU air. That's at 9.

CW has America's Next Top Model (Sept. 9) and The Beautiful Life (Sept. 16): “The life of a high-fashion model appears glamorous and sexy, but as every new model quickly learns, behind the beautiful façade is a world of insecurity and cut-throat competition. Two teenage models who are about to discover this world for themselves.” FYI, Mischa “The O.C.” Barton is in this, at least until her next stint in rehab.

So, I plan to dabble in ABC's new sitcoms, skip Eastwick, hug Christine and Gary like they are my long lost cousin Danny from Gatlinburg, be joyous about Glee and buff up my Cat Deeley shrine.

How about you?