For Paul Kwasniewski, participating in the Westbrook Veterans Honor Guard is "coming full circle."

As a 19-year-old in 1968, he served as a sergeant with the Army's 1st Medical Battalion, 1st Infantry Division, in Vietnam, flying on helicopters into battle zones to pick up the severely wounded and dying and move them out.

"The first time I did it, it was just like I belonged there. It's such an honor for me to be there for the soldiers being buried. I 'Life Starred' them in the beginning. I held them when they were dying, and now it's an honor for me to be there with them again. For me, it's coming full circle," the Old Saybrook resident said.

"Here I am at the graveyard now, and I wonder, are these the guys who were in my arms? Are these the guys who were shot up bad or had limbs missing? I still see their eyes, it was just too much contact," said Kwasniewski, who only recently began to talk about his Vietnam War service.

At 68, he is one of the youngest members of the volunteer organization that presides at funerals 100 to 120 times annually, offering a final salute to honorably discharged veterans.

The veterans honor guard has 17 members who range in age from 67 to 93, and averages two funerals a week, from Westbrook to Mystic to Fishers Island and Hartford.

Joseph Barry of Niantic is the commander, and he's been a member about six years. Like other participants, he was approached by a fellow veteran who invited him to join, and after one service, he was hooked. As a 17-year-old, Barry joined the Army in 1959 and served for three years before receiving a hardship discharge following a family tragedy. Barry recruited Kwasniewski.

At a service, honor guard members — dressed in Navy blue pants with a single red stripe up the leg and Navy blazers — arrive at least 30 minutes before the family to set up service flags and position themselves before the mourners arrive.

During the service, they announce the veteran's name, branch of service and war affiliation; toll bells to mark the end of the deceased's watch or service; fire three volleys from M1 Garands to signify duty, honor and country; play taps, and fold and present the U.S. flag to the deceased's next of kin.

Al McLaughlin, 77, of Mystic, who served with the Army Reserves, Marine Corps Reserves and played in the Air Force band for four years, plays taps on his trumpet. 

"It's probably the most striking 24 notes that anyone can hear, and it's a great tribute to the person who has served," he said at a recent service for Vietnam War veteran Lester Kraaz Jr., 78, who died Oct. 21 and was buried at Centerbrook Cemetery.

Kraaz's daughter, Rachel Bone of New Hampshire, said her father, who suffered from PTSD and Agent Orange-related diseases after the war, deserved an honorable send-off and that's why she asked the Westbrook Veterans Honor Guard to preside at his burial.

"Because of Agent Orange, he had five different types of cancer, and the PTSD made him an introvert. He definitely became a loner," she said. "And he should be honored for what he has gone through, and the suffering he has had since (Vietnam)."

'An honor they deserve'

Before Bone and her family arrived for the service, honor guard members emptied the trunk of Barry's sedan on a blustery, cold weekday to prepare to honor him. They erected a battlefield cross, fashioning it from a rifle set in the earth, an Army hat atop it, and a pair of empty boots. They also put out flags for every branch of the armed forces and their bell, and readied their riflemen and trumpeter, so they could stand at attention when the hearse and family arrived.

"It doesn't matter if it is snow, rain, sleet, this is what we do for our brothers and sisters, because they served our country," said Ken McCarthy, 74, of Old Saybrook, who is one of the original members of the group — initially called the Antique Veterans Honor Guard — started by the late George Murray 13 years ago.

"We changed our name, because there are not too many veterans who want to be involved in a group with the word antique in its name," said McCarthy, who noted that, since its inception, the honor guard has attended more than 1,000 local funerals.

"There are a lot of vets being buried and this is an honor they deserve," he said. "And it's very, very rewarding for the individuals who do this."

Pat Czepiel, 71, of Deep River, who served three years with the Navy, is the only woman in the group.

"I don't know how to explain it," she said of her participation. "It's not that I enjoy doing it, but it's heartwarming. I just believe veterans deserve a send-off like they should have. You see it on TV with the dignitaries, why not the poor, lonely soldier?"

Barry, the commander, said the services are often emotional for the bereaved, and for members of the honor guard.

He recalled one time when he handed the folded American flag to the daughter of the deceased.

"She put her hands on my hands, you know, top and bottom, and she started crying and then I started crying and I couldn't even finish what I had to say," he said.

'On behalf of ...'

The volunteer who hands over the flag, folded as a triangle with three shell casings inside that were fired at a past veteran's service, says: "On behalf of the president of the United States, the United States Army (or Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, or Coast Guard), and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of your loved one's honorable service to his country. God bless you, and your family, and God bless America."

"And you can always find somebody crying," Barry said.

"A lot of times it is very emotional," said Don Byles, of Byles-MacDougall Funeral Services, one of the funeral homes that calls on the honor guard to preside.

"I think for the families, it's way more than they are expecting," he said, of the volunteer team that turns out with a minimum of 10 members or as many as 17.

"They are incredible," said Jordan Welles of Robinson, Wright & Weymer Funeral Home in Centerbrook, which handled the services for Kraaz. "Look at the age of all of them and they are there to render military honors in the dead of winter when it's 10 degrees or in the heat of summer. And they are volunteers."

McLaughlin, who is a retired Groton Town police officer, said it's not uncommon for there to be more honor guard members at a burial than mourners.

"We are there to honor that particular individual, and every time, it's very emotional," he said.

And for McLaughlin, who is also a member of Bugles Across America, another volunteer group that attends military funerals to render taps, he said he has difficulty not honoring the deceased.

If the opportunity presents itself where he's finished at one service and there's another nearby in the same cemetery, if it's appropriate, he'll offer his services and play taps a second time. One time, spur of the moment, he played "Amazing Grace" for mourners burying a loved one.

"You don't know these people at all, but you know it's comforting for them to know we've given up our time to go and help them," said Barry, who added the honor guard attends for free, but will accept donations to defray costs for gear, uniforms and transportation.

The veterans are there for their deceased brethren, the deceased's loved ones, and for some, like Kwasniewski, for themselves, too.

"He told me it's the most healing thing he's ever done," Barry said. "He said, 'Joe, they died right in my arms, so many people, they were blown up and there was no way I could put them back together again.' He said this is very healing, and it helps him in his day-to-day life."

"I was 19 and I saw everything. It was horrible," Kwasniewski said. "But I am honored to go to the graveyard now and to shoot the rifle, the volleys. Each (service) is different, but it is healing for me. And I am just so proud to be there for these families."

a.baldelli@theday.com  

More information

For more information about the Westbrook Veterans Honor Guard, email Joseph Barry at rojoe817@yahoo.com or call him at (860) 857-2416. Barry said the guard always is looking to recruit new members.