East Lyme — Asked what they could to do support someone being bullied, East Lyme Middle School students offered some strategies.

One student at the assembly Monday said he would tell the perpetrator that his or her behavior was not nice and affirm that "you can be whoever you want to be in this school."

Another student would ask the perpetrator how he or she would feel if treated the same way. Others said they would tell the person being targeted not to listen to the perpetrator, or walk away with the person being bullied.

The students, fifth-graders and some sixth-graders, were participating in the Anti-Defamation League's Step Up! assembly that focused on creating a safe and respectful environment.

Ann Marie Knight, facilitator with the Anti-Defamation League, said that in incidents of mean behavior, there are four roles people play: the target, the perpetrator, the bystander — someone who witnesses what is happening but doesn't do anything, and the ally, who supports the target or challenges the perpetrator.

Knight encouraged students to be "allies" and have the confidence and courage to stand up for someone else.

Principal Judy DeLeeuw said in an interview that the ADL had presented several years ago to middle-school students about acceptance and tolerance. She said students are living in a world where they are exposed to so much information from different forums, whether through the internet, TV, or social media.

"There's so much more freedom for people just to say whatever they think without thinking about someone else's feelings, because they're not looking that person in the eye," she said.

She said the school is also being proactive after a student from the Neptunes Kiva received a "derogatory and racially charged letter" in the mail last month. DeLeeuw said the letter — which school officials are unsure came from a student — reaffirmed the school's decision to bring the ADL back to the school.

During Monday's assembly, students participated in activities to promote tolerance of differences and watched videos on bullying. They also shared some of their own experiences about how they felt bad when they were picked on.

As part of one activity, a dozen students stood up in the front of the room and followed a series of instructions from Knight to fold blank pieces of paper and tear off pieces in the corner. 

At the end of the activity, students had different designs, with perforations on the edges or in the middle. One of the papers, which had split in half, was completely different from the others.

Knight held that design up and asked the students to imagine how that design would be treated. Some students said it would be laughed at or left out, while another student said someone might try to copy it.

Knight then asked everyone to raise their hand if they too ever felt they were left out, called names or picked on because of something about them that was different.

"Most of the people in this room know what it feels like to be treated like this," she said, after most people raised their hands.

She said the assembly focused on creating a safe and respectful environment, which students said they wanted at the beginning of the presentation. She said that means a school where everyone is respected, no matter their skin color, religion, where they come from, the language they speak, how much money their family has or doesn't have, their clothing style, or the sneakers they wear.

"No matter how we're different .... we want a school where every single person can feel safe and respected, where every single design can be celebrated," she said.

DeLeeuw said that she would like to bring the assembly, adapted for each age level, to every grade and keep the conversation going. She said it's important to allow students to talk about these issues.

k.drelich@theday.com