New London Superior Court Judge Hillary B. Strackbein unsealed a letter Thursday in which David S. McKeever admits he killed his longtime girlfriend, Delma Murphy, two years ago at their home in the city.

"I am going to have to live with the fact that I took my beloved Delma's life in which I have forgiven myself for as God (has)as well," McKeever wrote near the bottom of the six-page letter.  

McKeever had lived with Murphy, 46, for 11 years and referred to her as his wife when, police said, he stabbed her multiple times, wrapped her body in towels and a blanket and left her in a bedroom for several days. A friend concerned for her welfare went to the home at 53 Cole St. on Nov. 18, 2015, and found her body.

The 49-year-old McKeever, who is being held at the Northern Correctional Institution, sent the letter, written in cursive with black pen on lined paper, to Strackbein in August, when it appeared his case would be resolved with an insanity plea.

McKeever has a history of mental illness and is hearing- and sight-impaired because he was born with a congenital disorder known as Usher Syndrome, according to court documents and testimony.

He initially was represented by attorney M. Fred DeCaprio, a public defender with decades of experience representing defendants in murder cases. During McKeever's court appearance in July, DeCaprio announced that McKeever would be pleading not guilty by reason of insanity and had opted to be tried by a panel of judges rather than a jury.

McKeever apparently had second thoughts about the plea and penned the letter, which the court received on Aug. 10. Had the judges found him not guilty by reason of insanity, he likely would have been committed to care of the state's Psychiatric Security Review Board and housed at the Whiting Forensic Division of Connecticut Valley Hospital. If he accepts a plea deal or is convicted after a trial, he will remain in a Department of Correction facility.

McKeever wrote that he felt "bullied through this entire defense" and that DeCaprio had dismissed his suggestion that he be tried as a handicapped person rather than one who is mentally ill. He wrote that he doesn't want to deny Murphy's family members, several of whom have attended all of his court appearances, to be denied the truth.

"I'd rather spend the rest of my life in prison than to deny them the truth, with the truth may they find forgiveness, with forgiveness may they find love, with love may the find closure and with closure may they find God," he wrote.

Strackbein appointed a new attorney, Christopher Duby, to the case at the request of both McKeever and DeCaprio. She sealed the letter, which had been made a court exhibit, until Duby met McKeever and familiarized himself with the case.   

During McKeever's court appearance Thursday, Duby said his client is undergoing a "medical" evaluation and asked for a continuance.

Prosecutor Lawrence J. Tytla said now that Duby was up to speed, there was no legal basis to keep the letter sealed.

Duby didn't take a position on the court's unsealing the letter, but said he reserved the right to object to the letter being used in a future court proceeding.

McKeever's next court date is Jan. 9.

k.florin@theday.com