Latest Blog 
May 24, 2012
I can remember it as if it were yesterday.
It was August of 1972, and I was playing the late Charles “Bucky” Yauilla in the semifinals of the New London Country Club Championship. We had reached the 15th hole with me holding a slim one-up lead. A small gallery had formed to follow the match, as was the custom in those days with my mentor and teacher, the great Ralph Crandall Sr. among them.
It was an improbable scene at the time. I was fairly new to higher-level competitive golf and had gotten to the semis through an improbable upset of the great Dick Hedden. Think USA hockey vs. the Russians. That kind of improbable. And when I knocked in a 12-foot birdie on number 15, I was two up with three to go.
The par three 16th was a tough one in those days and we both missed the green, with Bucky getting caught up in some high rough to the right of the green. My chip checked up two feet below the hole and I marked while I waited for Bucky to play his second shot. I can remember the thoughts that were going through my mind. “What will I wear in the finals? I want to look good in front of that large gallery. Boy, my Dad is going to be proud of me.”
When suddenly, BOOM. ROAR. Bucky chipped in from off the green. I’m suddenly in a dogfight again.
I’ll try to make the description of the ensuing agony as brief as possible. I missed a three-foot putt on 17 to bring the match square. The putter exploded in my now clammy hands and I could feel my heart start to race. I somehow survived the 18th and we went to extra holes with me now having blurred vision, palsy in both my hands, and an anxiety level that was off the charts. On the first playoff hole I was given a fabulous opportunity, the upshot being that I had a two and a half footer for the win and redemption for my collapse. I missed. The pool room term is “short arm,” a stroke so nervous and awkward as to evoke laughter.
The second hole found me with a putt that couldn’t have been more than 18 inches and I found myself slow-walking to the ball, praying that Bucky would say, “that’s good.” Fat chance. As I stood over it, I heard myself saying, “please go in. Pleeeaaaase.” I didn’t hit the putt as much as I tried to wish it in. It never threatened the hole. I lost.
I stood there paralyzed and could feel the blood drain from my face, a feeling of nausea about to consume me. I could hear nothing and I was about to cry when I began to laugh. And then cry again. I had choked and I knew it.
I’m not sure what the dictionary definition of “choke” is, but I bet if you Google it and press videos, a tape of me playing the last five holes of that match pops up and the world gets to watch a golfer collapse under the weight of self-inflicted pressure. This was a local club match; we were not playing for the fate of Western Civilization. Not that it matters because you can choke over a putt for a two dollar Nassau.
It might have been Trevino who first said, “if you never choked, you never played for anything.” I would hold to the opinion that everybody has but you wouldn’t know it by the results of the informal survey I conducted over the last couple of weeks. I asked more than 40 competitive golfers and athletes if they had ever choked in a clutch situation and, if they had, what were they feeling at that moment.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the vast majority couldn’t recall such a moment and some said, “sure, I have” and then recounted stories that had them completing glorious comebacks that just fell short despite valiant efforts or talked about some bad beat where the opponent threw in some lucky shot on the last hole to do them in. Very few were willing to talk of a time that showed what they, I suppose, perceived as a character flaw. Some just said, “I don’t care enough about winning or losing. It just doesn’t matter that much.” Hmmmmmmmmm?
The few that were candid had very similar recollections about what went on with them. They all described a nervousness that affected performance. They talked about being too aware of the consequences of their acts on the golf course. A couple of guys actually told me that it stays with them today, one saying “I’m a terrible putter because I get too nervous. I choke all the time.”
My dear friend, local talk show celebrity Lee Elci, who may have been the best amateur baseball player ever in this area, recalled to me some of what he went through as he tried to make his way through the minors during his professional career. “For me, I felt tremendous pressure in every game I played, in fact in every at bat because I felt that I had to succeed in each instance or they would send me home. I was not a highly paid prospect and felt I had no margin for error. That kind of pressure eventually wore me down.” Now that’s an honest answer.
Competitive athletes find themselves in pressure situation all the time. They put themselves in those circumstances to test themselves. To be sure that pressure is mostly self-inflicted and each of us deal with it differently and according to our personalities and psyches. I know players who are oblivious to consequences and that allows them to play without the debilitating fear that awareness of the circumstance can often provoke.
I offer no cures. I have choked under circumstances that overwhelmed me and probably will again. And if you ever decide to put yourself on the line and play for something that matters to you.
So will you.
Jim O’Neill is a member at Great Neck CC.
Recent Posts
May 16, 2012
I was watching the Players Championship on TV this weekend, largely because it is a course I have played and enjoyed immensely. The TPC at Sawgrass is one of my top five all-time tracks and while I haven't been there in 20 years, the...
May 9, 2012
So often, we sit around with a cold one on our buddy trips and compare notes on all kinds of golf topics. One that is sure to arise: What golfer was the best we have ever seen?
May 3, 2012
I have played in two pro-ams so far this year and on both occasions, rain has been a significant part of the golf equation.
April 25, 2012
I have some final thoughts about our recent buddy trip toArizonaand not all of them involve Rodney.
April 18, 2012
In early March, my long time golf partner, Wayne, invited me to join him for a week of golf at his new digs at The Villages in centralFlorida. I have to admit that I had some trepidation about this since the Villages was where 65,000...
April 10, 2012
Golf is back and so am I.
February 9, 2012
Everyone remembers a childhood fairy tale where the lovely, young princess is held prisoner in the tower by evil forces, yearning for salvation from her hero, when, suddenly and fortuitously, the White Knight appears on the horizon,...
December 7, 2011
No other game places as much value on appearances as golf.
November 23, 2011
As the golfing year draws to a close, it is appropriate to give thanks to those people and things that continue to make this game such a joy for me.
November 17, 2011
I am a teacher. I always have been, whether in the classroom or on the athletic fields. I have always enjoyed the great satisfaction of helping others to better understand whatever it is they are curious about, from the long-term effects...
November 9, 2011
Last week I gave you five of my top 10 personal favorites among the roster of golf courses in our fair state. My list, just like yours should be, is one of total individual preference based on my own subjective feelings about the golf...
November 3, 2011
Playing different golf courses over a period of years is one of the treats that golf provides, allowing each golfer to compile a list of his/her personal favorites based on whatever factors most appeal to them.
October 26, 2011
I’ve just returned from a five day golf trip in the Pinehurst, N.C. area, which in many ways was, for me, a return to the scene of the crime, so to speak.
October 12, 2011
Has there ever been a period of golf weather better than the past two weeks? I doubt it. And the fact that it coincided perfectly with my busiest and most competitive fortnight of golf on this year’s calendar made it seem like a...
October 5, 2011
One of the beautiful things about golf is that, essentially, we are playing the very same game that our professional counterparts are playing. You can’t lace ‘em up and do what Tom Brady is doing; you can’t shake and...
September 27, 2011
Three years ago, my partner, Wayne, and I talked about starting a golf tournament at New London Country Club that would be a premier event on the Connecticut golf circuit.
September 14, 2011
While caddying for my head ro Kevin Shea at the PGA Sectional at the Black Hall Club, I was struck by one facet of the game, the one that exasperates us all: putting.
September 8, 2011
Having survived the wilds of Vermont and the planning genius of the "committee," my partner and I decided to get the ball rolling on a golf trip that would set the standard for all future buddy trips.
August 31, 2011
Back in the day when I was a young teacher in New London, my principal, who shall go nameless for reasons that will become obvious, notified my partner and me that he was forming a golf trip for eight guys during the April vacation and...
August 27, 2011
While there is little question that I love golf to a somewhat unhealthy degree, there are things about the game that, shall we say, vex me. No, actually they infuriate me, because without them, golf would be, well, perfect.
COMMENTS (0)
