Oops. I Meant To Say, Whatever You Do, NEVER Try To Pose For A Selfie With Bear Cubs While Mama Grizzly Is Watching, And Other Corrections
• Alert readers have correctly pointed out a slight flaw in my instructions for the proper rock climbing command when you have unclipped from your rope. You should loudly announce, “Rappel off,” not “On rappel.” I apologize for the confusion.
• In my report on wilderness recipes, I meant to write, “Leaves of three, let it be,” not “Leaves of three make good tea.”
• Due to an editing error the author of “Walden” was incorrectly identified. The book was written by Henry David Thoreau, not Donald J. Trump.
• Charging elephants can easily outrun the fastest human, not the other way around.
• Updated research has compelled me to revise my advice regarding thunderstorms. Scientists have concluded it is best NOT to stand on a mountaintop with your metal trekking pole thrust skyward.
• A rattlesnake, it turns out, is not too frightened to strike when it begins shaking its tail. Likewise, a skunk is not preparing to run away when it turns around and lifts its tail. The author relied on an outdated advisory from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
• A photograph accompanying my writeup on edible fungi somehow got switched during the publication process. It should have depicted a savory chanterelle but somehow wound up as a picture of amanita phalloides, otherwise known as the death cap mushroom.
• A decimel point was inadvertently inserted before the number of inches ice should reach before it is safe for skating.
• Red Right Return means you should keep red buoys on your right when you are facing the bow of the boat, not the stern, as was mistakenly reported.
• The last sentence of an account of a whitewater kayak expedition somehow got deleted. Here it is: “However tempting it may be to run the last section of rapids, you must pull ashore at the final eddy before the river bend, where a 60-foot waterfall looms just out of sight.”
• Experts have suggested the best way to join two ropes being used to hoist heavy rocks during trail maintenance projects is to tie a double-fisherman knot, and then incorporate an alpine butterfly knot into the loop. This, I agree, is an improvement over my recommendation of a bow tie and granny.
• In my report discrediting old wives’ tales, I may have overstated the unreliability of a few timeworn adages. Thus, some clarifications:
In certain cases, it really is better to let sleeping dogs lie.
Likewise, there may be some truth to the saying, “Only a fool tests the depth of water with both feet.”
And it turns out when there’s smoke, there usually really is fire.
Strictly speaking, I also may have unintentionally altered the meaning of one of Charles Darwin’s observations: “Man can live about 40 days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without …” I wrote, “… only one second without a bag of Cheetos, six-pack of Bud Light and a pepperoni pizza,” whereas Darwin ended his sentence, “… only one second without hope.” Point taken.
Anyway, sorry about all the screw-ups. Remember, to err is human; to forgive is just plain silly.
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