Roberta M. Helming - We Need To Make Wise Decisions In Raising Our Children

We should encourage our children to accomplish all that is within them. They’ll be obstacles, but we should guide them as needed, promoting independence. We need to support them in their interests and proudly watch them develop into the productive young citizens we knew they could be.


It is difficult at best to raise children, especially today, with the many challenges facing them and ultimately us, as parents. A lot can be said however, for teaching children by our example, since they are very impressionable.

It is important to be there for our children, no matter what. They need us. If we’re not there, they may seek out the love and attention they need and deserve elsewhere, perhaps in unhealthy ways.

While it is important to encourage a child’s “talent,” parents should be open to the fact that the child’s interest may change over time, and by pushing them to continue with outdated interests, the child may rebel.

We must strive to set examples that our children may use one day when they become parents. And if divorce or separation is unavoidable, remember, we loved our “ex” enough to conceive a child. Remember that moment of love while living separate lives. Allow your child to love both parents. Don’t make a child choose. If you are the custodial parent, don’t spread hatefulness. Encourage them in their visits with your former spouse.

Many children are not able to properly heal from a divorce, often blaming themselves. As adults, we must understand that and put the children, their needs, their confusion, their self-doubts and hurts, first.

Many things come and go in life, but a relationship with a child should not be something that goes. In the end, the sweetest picture is seeing a child holding each parent’s hands as the parents enter their golden years.

We should strive to build a bond with our child, and remain confident that the connection that began at birth and continued into adulthood is so strong that it will never break. This is the ultimate beauty – the bond between parents and their children.

Roberta M. Helming, Ledyard