If you had any doubts about the sheer worth of canines, whether purebred or commoner, do the math. It takes a swarm of 5,000 British police officers and 250 clomping horses (that’s 1,000 hooves) to assure the security and safety for tomorrow’s royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton in London.

But guess how many dogs it takes to do the crucial work of sniffing out  explosives. That important job falls to just 35 dogs.

Yep, it takes just 35 of my species to sniff out the whole cathedral, the route to the ceremony and the surroundings to be sure no Guy Fawkes devotee has infiltrated the premises.

And we can sniff out those bad boys from 300 feet away, not that I’m bragging. That would be so common.

Yeah, we’re good. We’re 250 horses, 5,000 bobbies worth of good, in fact. We’ll do our job, get a pat on the head and a biscuit, enjoy the comforts of the nearest fire plug then go home and take a long nap.

We will stay calm and carry on. You see, we dogs are immune to all this tea-towel and ascot hysteria.

But you, you are people, and you get worked up about these things, and you expect us to get worked up, too. But because we don’t, you figure you have to buy us stuff so we’ll get in the spirit of the festivities. If that makes you happy, you are in luck, because there are many, many wedding-themed items that you can purchase for your favorite canine.

Some of these include: a “keep calm and Marry Kate” shirt for $30, a sequined Union Jack hoodie for $45.99, a British bulldog pillow cover for $60 and a leather collar handpainted with the Union Jack for $45. The matching lead is $50.

Somehow, I think Kate’s black cocker spaniel, Otto, and the queen’s corgis, like myself, will be more understated and dignified in dressing for this special occasion. I’ll be in my usual black with tasteful touches of white, gray and reddish-brown.

http://www.peoplepets.com/photos/stylish/will-kate-pet-merchandise

http://www.urbanpup.co.nz/

http://www.zazzle.co.nz/royal_wedding_corgi_coat_rock_star_dog_dog_shirt-155022615901133695

http://www.bonniedogs.co.uk/