Unsettling phone call knocks wife out of her comfort zone

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married to my college sweetheart for 20 years. "Mark" is a great husband, a good father, and we are very compatible. He is the kind of man who brings me flowers for no reason, and who'd rather be home cooking dinner with me than almost anywhere. I know he loves me and our children.

Recently, a woman called our house, identified herself as "a friend," and told me Mark has been "playing around" all over town and she thought I should know I was married to a "pervert." She hung up before I could comment. Mark swears he is not, and never has, had an affair.

I now question my decision to be a stay-at-home mom and wonder if someone may be out to get me. Abby, I am happy in my marriage. Yet I feel violated, depressed and resentful that a stranger has the power to make me question my own happiness. Can you help me?

- Sad wife in New York

DEAR WIFE: The prank you have described could have been perpetrated by a high school student dialing randomly, or a disgruntled person with a grudge against your husband - or even you - for some imagined slight.

You feel violated because you HAVE been. People can exercise power over us only if we allow it. You have a husband who loves you and a marriage many people would envy. I don't think you need marriage counseling. However, some sessions with a mental health professional might be helpful in putting this unpleasant incident behind you.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


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