Calm down, people

On any given day, 43 percent of Connecticut residents feel stressed out, the pollsters at Gallup reported this week.

But, as my woman would say, "it can always be worse."

You could live in Rhode Island, where 46.3 percent of people are stressed out daily; or even worse, West Virginia, where the number hits 47.1. I'm guessing the .8 percent difference between Rhode Island and West Virginia lies in West Virginians' lack of access to a nice dish of calamari.

Not surprisingly, the happiest, least-stressed state in this country is Hawaii. No explanation needed.

But we don't live in Hawaii; we live in Connecticut, perilously close to that Debbie Downer Rhode Island. Therefore, we must learn to get happier and calmer.

Lucky for you, I'm an expert at contentment. Here's my advice; ignore it at your peril:

Nap frequently. Preferably in the sun. If it's cloudy, choose the most comfortable bed in the home. Unmake it if you must and lie on the cool sheets.

Ask for what you need: be it head scratch, tummy rub, romp in the park, martini.

Never lie: It gives you wrinkles.

Eat whatever you like. Stop before you feel queasy.

Run around crazy just for the fun of it every day.

Drink lots of water, sloppily if you must.

Make friends with those you were told are your enemies.

Visit Dairy Queen as soon as it opens. Repeat.

Listen to music in the car, not the news.

Play with a ball.

If you feel bad, howl.

That said, my woman is taking her opposable thumbs and leaving employ at The Day this week. Since I need her to type this, my blog is now available on tumblr. You can find me at


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