Sterling's a rare gem, don'cha know?
Want to know the hard part? It wasn't losing. Showbiz, as John Sterling likes to say. Besides, when you witness your chest-thumping rival's epic (quite epic, actually) collapse during a pennant race, a loss in the playoffs is a duller ache.
It's just not particularly comforting at the moment to think about Yankee baseball next summer without Sterling.
Let me just say this: I don't care whether you like him. I like him. And Suzyn Waldman, too. So do millions of Yankee fans, otherwise known as the target audience. Sterling and Waldman are part of every day from April through October, eccentric, eclectic, entertaining and everywhere the season takes us.
It was this line, though, in a recent feature in the New York Times about Sterling - writer Bill Pennington captured Sterling brilliantly - that has me worried:
"Randy Levine, the president of the Yankees, who is currently negotiating a new team radio contract with several outlets, would not comment on Sterling's future but called him 'a unique character and a real asset.' The team has the right to approve all announcers chosen by its radio partner."
A real asset? What is he, inventory? Gee, Randy. Don't, you know, blow out your thesaurus or anything finding the right words for a guy who has been part of every Yankee game for the last 23 years.
Sterling is like your favorite movie. You know the lines are coming. You know the inflection. But you just can't wait to hear them again. It's not just "Robbie Cano, don'cha know." It's not just "you can't predict baseball" or a rant about the rain. It's theater. Like the way he introduces the engineer for the radio broadcasts: Carlos Silva. Sterling pronounces it "SEAL-vah."
Here's how it goes: I'm in the car. It's 6:30. Cue the Yankee jingle. "Live from Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, it's New ... York ... Yankees ... baseball! And tonight, on a cold, damp, dreary, horrible night, it's the first game of a three-game series between the Yankees and the Baltimore Orioles.
"Along with our producer engineer Carlos SEAL-vah ..."
And I giggle.
Without fail.
And that's the point. I giggle. So do all the other Yankee fans, otherwise known as the target audience. It's entertainment. And Sterling not only gets it, he delivers it.
It's baseball. Not "Meet the Press." Baseball. The toy department. Entertainment.
This is something that flies over the head, quite majestically, of Sterling's critics. Pennington reported that Sterling "has spawned more than 100 Web sites dedicated to denigrating his emblematic calls and his anomalous broadcasting style."
Let me guess: Those people gave up their careers teaching at Yale and need to pass the time.
Then there's Phil Mushnick, a newspaper columnist at the New York Post, whose repertoire has shrunk to killing Sterling, Mike Francesa and ESPN. (Rinse. Repeat).
The Times reported that Mushnick "has written more than 270 articles about Sterling," calling him a "narcissistic, condescending blowhard."
Then the best quote of all:
"Yankees fans who like him are people who just want someone to root for the team," Mushnick said.
What, the Yankees should go out and hire someone who hates them? Or is more boring than geometry?
And it's not like Sterling and Waldman never criticize the Yankees. They do it often. (Just wait till they fail to advance a runner).
And send up smoke signals the next time you hear criticism of the home team on the Shaw's/WEEI Red Sox Radio Network, a carnival of nightly cheerleading (and Yankee game updates). Seriously. The only place you hear more nicknames is in a frat house: Youk, Petey, Gonzo, Pap, Scoot, Els, Salty and Tek.
It's OK to enhance the product with some personality, you know. John Sterling makes you listen because of what's coming. And what's not.
Like one night this summer. We're on vacation in Ocean City, N.J., sipping some euphoric nectar on the porch listening to the ballgame. Sterling is apoplectic that home plate umpire Jerry Layne is taking too long to call balls and strikes. Suddenly, he breaks into song:
"Everybody's hand in hand ... waitin' for Jerry Layne."
It's a takeoff on an old Sinatra lyric ("everybody's hand in hand, swingin' down the lane.")
I'm sorry. But that's perfect, brilliant and the essence of John Sterling.
And I want him back for as long as he wants to do it.
I believe I speak for Yankees Universe on this.
And in this case, we should be the only ones who count.
This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro.
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