We are depressed by bitter statements from supposed leaders in politics, entertainment, and the news media. And now, increasingly, from neighbors, friends, family − you and us. These are opinions and we are entitled to our opinions; when they are phrased in hateful rhetoric, however, they are not justified. Anger and fear on the listener’s part is the reaction and loss of communication is the result.

Is all lost? Is there no common ground? A three-step approach is possible but not easy.

1. Thoughtfully examine the topic. What facts do we have? Do we need additional information from credible resources and spokespersons? What is our heart telling us about the topic? What are the pros and cons? What is our balanced opinion?

2. Express our opinion with clarity, avoiding exaggerations.

3. Listen actively to the response. Do we clearly understand the other opinion? What questions do we have? Where do we agree? Should we alter our opinion in any way?

This approach leads to respect for the other person as well as for ourselves. Although we may disagree, our personal relationship will be strengthened. Let’s hope our approach affects publicly recognized leaders to truly lead us in human relations. 

Linda and Tim Evers

Mystic