Turn Mueller Report into a bestseller

A gift horse has been led to our president. An opportunity exists for him to pay off our national debt and finance all the walls he wants to build. It would be so easy. Even though Attorney General Bill Barr has already published the Cliffs Notes version, having cherry-picked its highlights, the time is now ripe to publish: “The Mueller Report.”

It would be an international best-seller, on par with the King James Bible. It can be printed right here in the good-old USA by the Government Printing Office. The first thousand or so copies can be for the high-brow market and right up Trumps…er alley: gold embossed leather bindings, acid-free paper with gilded edges, signed by the author, the whole shebang.

The rest would be standard hardcovers, followed by millions of paperbacks to be snapped up at grocery store checkouts everywhere.

When sales show signs of flagging, Ta Da! (drum roll and cymbals): “The Mueller Report: Director Cut” (also known as the unredacted version). And that’s not all! Don’t forget the block-busting television series! The movie rights! Licensing fees for bobbleheads and actions figures! And all profits shoveled into our federal coffers!

But, alas, I’m just dreaming. Trump will never go for it.

Russ Ostlund



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