We can all benefit from cultivating gratitude by paying attention to what’s good in our lives. It feels good to focus on positive things, and research shows it’s good for our health.

According to the Harvard Mental Health Letter, “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

Numerous studies have also found that people who practice gratitude also have fewer physical health problems. What’s not to like?

By “practicing gratitude,” I mean actively making a habit of thinking about what you’re grateful for. It’s easy to get bogged down in irritations, things you have to get done, and things you wish were different. Instead, notice all the good things you may be taking for granted.

For instance, unless you’ve had a major illness, you may not think about how fortunate you are to be healthy. Your friends or family may be annoying at times — but overall, aren’t you glad you have them in your life?

What skills and talents have you been blessed with? What activities, pets, music, hobbies, etc., bring you joy? And then there are all the everyday, wonderful things: your favorite TV show, your cozy slippers, central heat (for which I am very grateful this time of year), and on and on.

Teach yourself to pay more attention to all the good things — and teach your kids, too.

Now, if you’re a parent, you may want your kids to be grateful to you. Why don’t the kids see how hard you work, how many good things you provide for them, how much better they have it than you did growing up?

Here you are working hard all day, while they sit around on their devices (the devices you paid for!) and grump at you when you ask them to clear the dishwasher. It’s aggravating.

Unfortunately, the kind of gratitude you’re looking for may not happen until they grow up.

The reality is that kids take for granted what they have — because they’re kids. The comforts of your home are all they know. It likely won’t occur to them that everyone doesn’t have all the good things they do.

Until they become adults, they simply won’t get all the things adults do to provide a home.

In the meantime, yes, of course you can expect kids to be politely appreciative. They can and should say “please” when they’d like something and “thank you” when you give them something. You do a lot for your kids, but you’re not their servant.

Common courtesy is one of the most important things you can teach them and make them practice. And, absolutely, you can ask them to help around the house; it’s important for them to learn how to do domestic tasks and contribute to the family.

But “Wow, Dad, I see how much you do for me”? For that, you’ll have to wait until they’re 20. Or 30. Or whenever they become parents themselves. Sigh.

Instead of worrying about whether you’re appreciated, help your kids learn to feel grateful in general. Here are some ways to do that:

Talk about your gratefulness for the good things your family is fortunate to have. Your kids may not realize that not everyone in the world has access to clean water, enough to eat, and books and libraries. Read them stories and watch movies that give them glimpses into the wider world. We really are fortunate to live where we do.

Start your own gratitude practice. You might begin a gratitude journal, a notebook where you write down things you’re grateful for. You might start and end your day by thinking about three things you feel grateful about.

If you pray, you might say daily prayers of thanks for all the many blessings you’ve received.

Your gratitude practice may be something you do privately, but it’s an added bonus if your kids know you do it.

Point out the beauty. It’s easy to get caught up in to-do lists and routines and not notice the small, lovely things all around.

Take moments, especially with your child, to look — really look — at nature and everyday objects. Look at the color of the sky or the texture in that leaf. Listen to that bird’s song, or the lapping of the waves, or the sound of your cat purring. Feel the snuggliness of your sweater, the delightful way the bath water flows over your body, the comfort of being held by someone who loves you.

Breathe in the smell of dinner cooking or clothes coming out of the dryer. There is just so much loveliness to savor.

Make appreciation part of your family routine. Before dinner every night, have each person tell one or two things they’re grateful for that day — anything from “I’m glad we’re having mashed potatoes tonight” to “I appreciate how my soccer coach treats everyone fairly” to “I’m glad Grandma is recovering from her surgery.”

Write thank-you notes. It may be old-fashioned to send hand-written notes, but a personal “thank you” in the mail has even more impact now than it ever did.

An appreciative note doesn’t have to be fancy or formal; a few quick lines is plenty.

Texting or emailing your gratitude is not as impactful but still good. Send thank-yous whenever someone gives you a gift; teach your kids to do the same. For an extra gratitude boost, send notes randomly when you think of someone’s kindness or generosity.

Praise your spouse in front of your kids. Model appreciation. At least, thank your partner for cooking a nice meal or doing a repair.

Even better, sometimes express the bigger or less tangible appreciations: “I love how you deal with the bills so I don’t have to.” “I’m so glad I married such a kind person.” “I love how you really listen to me.” “The way you hug me makes me feel so loved.”

Encourage kids to express their gratitude. You might give an older child a gratitude journal of their own. Or gather up old magazines so a kid (of any age) can make a collage of all the things they appreciate.

As they get older and learn more about the world, the list of what they’re grateful for will expand — especially now that you’ve taught them how to notice.

Jill Whitney is a licensed therapist in Old Lyme who blogs about relationships at KeepTheTalkGoing.com.