A chance to answer my fans

It is mid-afternoon Tuesday at this typing. Housebound, pretty much. So what better way to pass the time than to answer fan mail?

Seems my provocative, analytical, essay about the fraudulent Patriots unearthed a few trolls from their caverns. One guy, a minimalist who goes by "R," wrote 1,007 words of rebuttal over several different posts on the subject on theday.com. Who has that much time?

Anyhoo, some of the posts were more hilarious than others. Have fun reading. Note: 1) They appear unedited; 2) I apologize ahead of time to English teachers.

"Raddion" writes: "Delete this article already, this is nothing but slanderous opinion, written by a punk. This guy is the worst writer the Day employs. His articles are consistently BORING."

Answer: BORING? Really, Raddion? You posted three different times to the same column. Couldn't have been that BORING. I mean, if it were that BORING, you'd have ignored it. But you didn't. So there.

"JTIII" writes: "Hey Mike, should we not take Michael Pineda or the Yankees seriously since it was proven, and clearly evident on TV, that Pineda was illegally doctoring the baseball with pine tar to achieve a better grip in cold weather and was subsequently banned for 10 games just this past April? What about current player Alex Rodriguez being banned from play for the entire 2014 season due to PED use and attempting to bribe an attorney?"

Answer: The idea that you are likening the Patriots to A-Rod tells us all we need to know.

"CT Blue Devil" writes: "I thought reporters were suppose to write objectively? Now they write their opinions. Okay, let's go with that. If the reporters want to write their opinions, then submit them to the 'letter to the editor' and write your objective columns separately. Try that and I bet Mikey can't do it. People like Mikey are the reasons why we 'hate' the Yankees. Althoug I am a Red Sox fan, I do like Ruth, Gehrig, Maris and Mantle. But people like this guy, makes ya turn the othe rway."

Answer: Of all the reader commenters in all the gin joints, yadda, yadda nobody is less likely to lecture at Harvard than this guy. Holy cannoli. Reporters are "suppose" to write objectively? Makes ya turn the "othe rway?" Your poor English teachers. And I'm supposed to write a letter to the editor at my own paper? Hello? Is this thing on?

"Brocker" writes: "I would love to hear Mike try and call Francesa and talk to him like he writes his articles. Francesa would hang up on him in 2 seconds and start yelling and spitting. Then of course we could hear all about how great his kids are and how he brings them to the bus stop every day.I guess my point is,it would be nice just to be able to hang up on Mikey too."

Answer: Well, Brocker, my kid is pretty terrific. Thanks for asking.

"Skier" writes: "Mike you said 'nobody outside New England takes the Patriots seriously anymore.' Wow I didn't know that might be why they win so many games. What an irresponsible thing to say. Nobody takes Mike seriously, that is why he writes for The Day."

Answer: You took me seriously, Skier. Otherwise, you wouldn't have taken the time to post a comment. Looks like I won that round.

"John Yannacci Sr." writes: "Well, there it is, the dumbest freaking thing I'll read all day. Glad I got that out of the way."

Answer: Isn't there a meeting of the John Birch Society you need to attend?

"KdoBO" writes: "This column is right on point. Nowhere does he say he knows the facts, instead it is about the court of public opinion. And in that realm, the Pats have been guilty for a while. Some of you need to revisit your high school education. To, too, and two are different. Than and then have different meanings, too. There is also a difference between an article (reporting news) and a column (opinion piece). Sheesh."

Answer: The check is in the mail. Many thanks.

"Billd" writes: "An under inflated football is of NO significancey in this game."

Answer: Significancey?

Sigh. I expected better from Day Nation. Try harder next time.

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro.

Twitter: @BCgenius

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