All together now: Here we go Patriots, here we go
OK. This is sacrilege. But as George Washington once said: I cannot tell a lie.
On Sunday, Feb. 4, 2018, they become our New England Patriots.
Sorry. But no self-respecting loyalist of the football Giants can root for the Philadelphia Eagles. Tried it once the last time they played the (our) Patriots in the Super Bowl. Needed therapy.
The Eagles have nasty fans who are haughty in victory and malicious in defeat. They’ve never won anything. They are a division rival. There is history here.
Now I know some of you, especially the younger fans of the Giants, would rather get their spleens removed with a cocktail fork than foster a rah-rah-sis-boom-bah for the (our) Patriots. However, you must respect your elders here. We’ve despised the Eagles way longer. And can perpetually make fun of them for their 0-fer under the category “Super Bowl titles.”
Plus, think about how fun it’ll be to root for the (our) Patriots. We’ll go into the game knowing our team won’t get called for holding (or anything else), win every challenge, await the inevitable meltdown from the other coach and benefit from any number of clandestine advantages: hidden cameras, microphones or the referee waiting to congratulate Tom Brady.
Speaking of: We’ll have the “GOAT” (Greatest Of All Time) on our side. Need the Tuck Rule? A timely roughing the passer? As Roy Orbison once sang: Anything you want, you got it.
As Pats fans, we can watch the GOAT drop back to pass. And on the off chance the pass is incomplete, we can yell “INTERFERENCE!” in unison, as if we’d all just been bitten by a forest animal. Then wait for the inevitable flag.
We can also watch our defensive backs engage in Greco-Roman wrestling with opposing receivers, while the back judge becomes Sgt. Schultz: He sees nothing, he hears nothing, he knows nothing.
Again: I get it. It’s hard not to be bitter. Past championship runs for the Giants have required defeating Joe Montana in San Francisco and Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers in Green Bay. The (our) Patriots “run” to the championship this year has featured opposing quarterbacks named Marcus Mariota, Blake Bortles and Nick Foles.
It’s akin to playing the ’62 Mets in the World Series, celebrating when Mo Rivera strikes out Rod Kanehl.
But then, we can be bitter Monday when we go back to hating them again.
For now, though, we need to think more practically.
If (when) the (our) Patriots win, it just adds to the Giants overall awesomeness. It makes Tom Coughlin look smarter and Eli Manning look better. Because if (when) the (our) Patriots win, we can watch their fans celebrate with a wry grin. They can chirp to the masses, sure. Just not to us.
The New England Patriots have never — never, never, never, never, never — beaten the Giants when it counts. Never. Sunday’s victory just adds to the legend.
So for now, we must practice:
Walt Coleman made the correct call with the Tuck Rule.
Spygate was a bigger conspiracy than the Kennedy Assassination.
Deflategate defied the Ideal Gas Law.
Kraft, Brady and Belichick are going to Tahiti together later this month.
The most loyal fans in the history of football congregate on fall Sundays in Foxborough, Mass. Tales of thousands of empty seats in the late 80s and early 90s is fake news.
They hate us kuz they ain’t us.
There. That should have it covered.
So we wear our Giants garb proudly Sunday. Neither of these two organizations can say a word to us. But we’ve spent a lifetime hating the Eagles. The (our) Patriots? Historically, not a pimple on our fanny, as Mad Dog Russo likes to say.
One time with feeling:
Here we go Patriots, here we go (clap, clap).
This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro
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