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Dr. I: of pickoffs, loud trains and literally too much of literally

Idle Thoughts, while waiting for a vaccine, indoor dining and for a live sporting event that isn't NASCAR:

• Dr. Idle, Dr. I to his close friends, desperately seeks the return of baseball.

But Dr. I nearly spit out his coffee the other day upon reading the 80 pages of restrictions recently unearthed to the media:

The personal favorite: "When the ball goes out of play, fielders are encouraged to retreat several steps away from the baserunner. Likewise between pitches."

Um. OK. But how would a fielder execute a proper pickoff? "Hey, you! You! Over there! Get back closer to the bag or I'll ... I'll sneeze on you!"

Or: winning run on second, one out in the ninth. This missive basically allows the baserunner to get a lead longer than the Mass Pike, thereby allowing him to waltz home on a single.

As Mad Dog Russo said last week: If you need 80 pages of rules to continue, you shouldn't continue.

• Best of luck to Mason Jackson. He announced last week he'll be continuing his high school education and basketball career at The Canterbury School.

Very disappointed he's leaving NFA, after leading the Wildcats to the ECC title and unbeaten pre-pandemic season. Remember, though: where a family decides to educate its members is intensely personal.

• Dr. I began to assimilate himself back into society last week, thus coming up with truly probing questions for the class.

Like this one: Which was the better beer jingle for Met fans?

Schaefer (the one beer to have when you're having more than one) or Rheingold (the dry beer; think of Rheingold whenever you buy beer).


• Not that Dr. I would complain about such trivialities, but can Amtrak stop being so noisy?

It's very hard to solve the problems of the world on the back deck at Muddy Waters with trains leaning on their horns every four seconds approaching the station.

We get it. It's a train. Kind of hard to miss. So shhhhhhhhhhh and let us poor people argue.

• Can someone literally tell Dr. I why so many people literally use the word literally during even short conversations today?

Literally, it's annoying and if you could literally stop Dr. I would be happier. Literally.

• Dr. I thoroughly enjoyed "The Last Dance" for its entertainment value.

But can some of you people stop waxing poetic about the historical greatness of the 90s Bulls?

The 1983 76ers (Cheeks, Dr. J, Moses), the '86 Celtics (Bird, Parish, McHale and a healthy Bill Walton) and the '85 or '87 Lakers (Magic, Worthy, Kareem) would have thrown any of Jordan's six championship teams down a flight of stairs.

• Dr. I marvels at how Tony Gwynn hit .394 in 1994 and didn't mention launch angle once.

• This week's Twitter wisdom: "A Lexus is nothing but a Camry that grew up with both parents."

• Happy retirement to Bill Dittman, who will leave as the Mashantucket Pequot Tribe's Chief of Police later this week.

Dr. I got to know Bill through his 35 years in New London, watching daughter Caitlyn play basketball at St. Bernard and his nephew, Madison Maloney, who plays men's hoops at Coast Guard.

Good dude. Always entertaining.

• We pounded away at departing NFA head of school David Klein for a while last year about a number of issues related to a coach and his inappropriate relationships with students.

Credit where it's due: NFA's decision to hold graduation at Dodd Stadium is a homer into the upper deck. Innovative and hopefully memorable during an otherwise unfathomable spring. Nice work from NFA's leadership here.

• Seriously. Some of you people equate beating the Seattle SuperSonics with Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp for the NBA title with trying to defeat the Lakers with Magic, Kareem and Worthy? Stop.

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro


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