While much political discussion has centered around women — their rights, defining characteristics and role in society — and targeting transgender people, U.S. Sen. Chris Murphy says that Democrats need to talk more about men and masculinity.

“There have been elements of the left who have been wrong to suggest that any exercise of traditional masculine traits is toxic,” Murphy said in an interview with The Courant. “Boys and girls are different. Men and women are different. That is not something we should be ashamed of or erase. Masculinity is changing, and masculine identity is changing really fast — and for a lot of men, that’s scary.”

Saying the rise of feminism should be celebrated, Murphy said the days have changed when men were “the primary and only breadwinner” in their families.

Citing sobering statistics, Murphy notes that 70% of deaths from drug overdoses are by men, their suicide rate is four times higher than women, and they commit 90% of all murders. At the same time, society has changed, with women attending college at higher rates and aiming for higher positions that have long been dominated by men.

Murphy first started talking about the issue one year ago, and he has continued since then as political rhetoric has become physical violence, including the injuring of about 140 police officers at the riot at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021 and the assassination attempt of former President Donald J. Trump in Butler, Pa. by a 20-year-old male.

The New Republic quoted him as saying, “Democrats need to construct a much more responsible version of masculinity than the one being proffered by Republicans.”

“We have to accept the fact that a lot of men are going through a bit of an identity crisis, and we need to help them recast what male identity is that doesn’t involve erasing all of the ways that men have traditionally defined themselves,” Murphy said. “But it also doesn’t involve doing what Republicans want, which is reversing to the 1880s when men were in charge” and women could not vote in the United States.

Murphy, a two-term Democrat seeking re-election this year, has become known as a bipartisan negotiator in Washington and has gained national attention as a leading advocate of gun control in the U.S. Senate after helping negotiate the most far-reaching, bipartisan gun bill in the past three decades. Besides guns, Murphy played a major role in striking a deal on immigration and border security, even though the bill was later rejected by Republicans after opposition by Trump.

But at the same time that he is involved in policies on Ukraine and Israel on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Murphy is also talking about social issues like loneliness, which he has highlighted as a key issue as many Americans battle social isolation and its emotional impacts.

Of Boys and Men

Part of Murphy’s inspiration on the issue came one year ago from a book by Richard Reeves called “Of Boys and Men” the subtitle of which says, “Why the modern male is struggling, why it matters, and what to do about it.” Murphy has since become friends with Reeves and closely follows his work.

Murphy already had been thinking about similar themes and wrote that Reeves had written “a compelling account of how far boys are falling behind girls in school, how unstable many men feel as women now compete with them in the workforce, and how, specifically, Black men are facing uniquely troubling barriers to success” as a malaise had “befallen many American males.”

Murphy has had both supporters and detractors in his work. His initial tweet about Reeves’s book generated 1,200 “likes” and 255 retweets, along with more responses in a series of five tweets.

Longtime political science professor Gary Rose of Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, who has written multiple books about Connecticut politics, said Murphy has the chance to speak out in ways that other politicians do not.

“This is the result of having such a safe seat where he can go off the rails and talk about matters like this and there are very few political repercussions,” Rose told The Courant in an interview. “If he was in a tight race, then he may not be talking about such abstract things like this. A U.S. senator should be focused on public policies, both domestic and foreign, and not these abstract social, moral — whatever the heck you want to call these issues. It’s kind of bizarre to hear a U.S. senator talk about these matters.”

Rose added, “It sounds like something you would hear in a sociology seminar on the campus of Smith College or over at Wesleyan.”

But Murphy says the issues must be addressed.

“At the heart of this discussion is the question of biology and male identity,” Murphy wrote last year. “First, we just need to admit that men are different biologically than women. In general, men are more physically aggressive and more likely to take risks than women, but less attuned to how other people feel and slower to develop intellectually than females. Of course, this is a broad generalization – there are tons of women who are more aggressive than some men and some men who have higher emotional intelligence than women. But to deny the biological differences is a plan to fail when it comes to finding policies that help both men and women. We are different, and thus gender-blind policies won’t always work.”

Citing statistics, Murphy says that leaders need to accept that some men are in crisis but adds that politicians and society can work on solving multiple issues at the same time.

“We shouldn’t be afraid to talk about what masculinity is,” Murphy said. “Men also need to understand that there’s nothing weak or wrong with being a nurturer. There are plenty of professions that men need to be more present that have tremendous value like teaching and caregiving. We can pull forward some of the old ideas of masculinity while transforming it. That’s the conversation that’s the more responsible conversation. … For some people on my side of the aisle, it’s an uncomfortable conversation — and it shouldn’t be.”

Transgender youth

While talking about men, Murphy is also interested in helping transgender youth. On the U.S. Senate floor in 2022, Murphy talked about his son and his friends.

“My son has transgender and nonbinary friends,” Murphy said. “He has non-transgender friends, but when they’re all sitting around our kitchen after school, there’s no difference between them in terms of how they act and how they talk, what they like, what they don’t like. They are kids. They are just kids. And so here’s my message to the adults with power who have decided to spend their days bullying these kids: Stop it. Grow up. So you’re not ready to accept transgender people. Fine. I hope you come around some day. But these kids threaten no one. They are hurting no one.”

He added, “Half of all transgender children in this country thought to themselves, at some point, that they would be better off dead than live in a world where so many people fear them. That is heartbreaking.”

Pushback by opponents

Murphy’s two Republican opponents, Beacon Falls first selectman Gerry Smith and longtime restaurant owner Matthew Corey, say that he is spending too much time on social issues.

“That’s the nonsense he’s working on as Israel is on fire and the borders are wide open,” Corey said in an interview. “He was working on a bill on loneliness. You know who is lonely? The angel moms who lost their kids to illegal aliens. He should be talking about foreign policy and making sure they don’t withhold aid to Israel, among others.”

A restaurant owner for the past 22 years, Corey lost to Murphy in the 2018 Senate race and is trying to win Tuesday’s primary in order to set up a rematch in November.

“There’s more pressing issues facing our country than worrying about men’s masculinity and loneliness,” Corey said. “I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about with men’s masculinity. … It’s just unbelievable. You can’t make it up.”

Smith, who is battling Corey in the primary, agreed.

“Men are going to be men, and there are going to be lonely people,” Smith said. “I think we have bigger things to worry about, and if he spent more time worrying about securing our border and helping us maintain our way of life, I think we would be better off. More people are concerned about paying their Eversource bill than they are about males and their masculinity.”

Besides the Republicans, three other candidates are seeking access to the ballot for the U.S. Senate against Murphy in November by gathering signatures, which need to be verified in the coming weeks by town clerks and compiled by the Secretary of the State’s office. The candidates who need a minimum of 7,500 verified signatures are Robert F. Hyde of the Weatogue section of Simsbury, Rocco A. Forino of Waterbury, and John J. Flynn of Norwalk.

Multiple priorities

In response to the criticism, Murphy said he dedicates extensive hours to negotiating major issues in the U.S. Senate.

“I spend far more of my time working on issues like border security and prescription drug pricing and national security than I do on any of these issues,” Murphy said. “I just think these issues are important, too. You can walk and chew gum in this business. I spent most of the last year writing the toughest, bipartisan border security bill in a generation.”

But Murphy also emphasized that politicians and voters cannot close their eyes to statistics that show that men have high rates of addiction, violence, and suicide.

“You’d be foolish to ignore the fact that men and boys are going through something right now that’s really troubling and really hard,” Murphy said. “I just think it’s my job to see what’s in front of me. … This issue of what men are going through today is important and relevant, so I’m not afraid to talk about it.”