Dear Marisa,

If a show is so disturbing it leaves you tense and shaking and unable to sleep, is that good television?

When I started watching “Walking Dead” I knew what I was signing up for. Lots of blood and gore — the WALKERS’ blood and gore. They weren’t alive. I could live with it.

But the season 5 opener Sunday night did me in. I know viewers want blood and explosions and guns a-blazin’ and that’s fine. But torture is where I draw the line. Gareth and his creepy mother Mary were so cavalier about all the head-bashing, throat-slitting and blood-letting of fellow humans, it was almost unwatchable. The screams. The sides of human flesh hanging in the meat locker. The fear of those in the train cars. The brutality. It was very Nazi–esque for me. I can read about that stuff, but I cannot watch it — even if they are actors and it’s not real. Why were those butcher guys wearing aprons? Why did they have a trough to collect the blood? What the hell was going on? I didn’t buy, “You’re either the butcher or the cattle” either.

How are you doing? 

Still shaken from Sunday night,

K

*** 

Lady K,

Hell no I don’t buy that “you’re either the butcher or the cattle” stuff. How about we organize some hunting and gathering parties? Look for edible plants, critters, mushrooms, etc., or, try growing some crops for godssakes. I should think there’s a few steps a small society might take BEFORE going cannibalistic!

I keep reiterating to my husband (who most certainly has a draft Zombie Plan for our household), that should the zombie apocalypse go down, we are NOT taking up with any large groups. Humans, particularly en masse, can be incredibly self-destructive — especially in a stressful situation like THE END OF THE WORLD. Yes, they can band together like Rick and crew, but the other larger groups have been all too keen to embrace violence, dictator types, intimidation, and now, FRICKING CANNIBALISM. I’d vet the hell out of anyone we’d hypothetically stumble upon. Even good people go mad in a scenario like “Walking Dead’s.” It’s precarious business, and I’d just as soon hole up in a cleared out mall a la “Dawn of the Dead.”

Particularly horrible scenes? The attempted baby-throttling by that dude who was the journalist in “Treme.” Also, that room Carol found, full of the cannibals’ victims personal effects. Very “Schindler’s List.” And, then of course, the sides of human flesh. I’m not a big fan of seeing ANY sides of flesh, from any critter, but when you can discern that one was clearly a lady, one starts to feel one’s cookies a-tossing. And the blood-letting … and Carol covered in zombie gore.

Yeah. As I noted on Twitter, I was glad I primed the pump with two margaritas.

But let’s lighten up for a sec: how about this transformation in Carol???

Nauseous,

M.

***

Dear M.

Lighten up? I’m still trying to digest (if you will pardon the pun) last night’s episode. As Conan O’Brien said on “Talking Dead,” the show’s creators “took it to a whole new level.” The creators said they were trying to show institutional evil, but goodness gracious. I think they just wanted to shock us, and I’m a little disappointed in that. Don’t think we need to SEE everything to appreciate the horrors of surviving a zombie apocalypse.

And the baby scene. Couldn’t watch. The way the creepo grabbed little Judith by the neck. And I was a little more than made at Tyreese. Did he really not tie him up to something? Did he really turn his back on him? Did he really leave when the creep told him to? GEEZ. I’m actually surprised nothing has happened to that kid yet. And come on, she looked so cute and well fed in her little Icelandic sweater. Everyone else is filthy and she’s so clean — really?

Anyhoo … my favorite scene was when Rick grabbed the machine gun from the “Serenity Now” crew and plowed down all his friends. That felt good. They all deserved what they got. While Rick wanted to go back and finish them all off, I like how the group talked him out of it. Just get the hell out of there.

And yes, I love Carol’s transformation. She is a survivor in so many ways. I love the way everyone who has made it this far is really strong, physically and mentally. And the women characters are so great, except for the little squirt Judith. I don’t think she’s pulling her weight.

Love,

K

*** 

Heh,

Speaking of cherubic Baby Judith, can I just vent about my giant beef with Rick? When the prison got taken and Judith didn’t turn up on the bus in someone’s care, Rick spent approximately 20 seconds dithering over her whereabouts. I mean, REALLY? I’m sorry, I know it was chaotic, but YOU KNOW if Lori was there, that baby would’ve been accounted for and battling at least three zombies. But nooooooo, Rick’s too busy being Mr. Crazypants and can’t even manage to keep track of his infant daughter. Disappointed in Carl for that, too. They weren’t NEARLY frantic enough for my taste after they lost her.

At least finally Rick’ll have to pull some babysitting duty. It’s enough already with everyone else raising that sweet little gal.

As for Tyreese, I suppose he was better late than never in finding some cajones, but you are entirely right. He dropped the ball a few times in that weird shack and an infant nearly paid the price. “Treme” Journo Guy deserved far worse than he got — as did the other wingnuts at Terminus. For once, I agreed with Rick that those people didn’t deserve to breathe air with saner folks, but the conditions just weren’t right. I’m wondering if those kooks pop up again down the road.

Re: Carol: remember what a shrinking violet she was? Under the thumb of her abusive hillbilly husband? Where horrendous loss undoes some people, it makes heroes of others. I went on record about how much I hated Carol in the beginning of the series, but MAN she’s done a 360. Lost her daughter; had to do in her adopted daughter. Lizzie (who, let’s face it, was a contender for most annoying character on the show); taught kids how to shiv and shoot; took disease control into her own hands. Dang! She’s not on clothes-washing duty any more! Loved Rick’s line to her last night: “Did you do this?” re: the smoking pile that was once Terminus.

Here’s a question: do you think you would’ve gone to Terminus? I was suspicious of it from the start, but then again, I’m suspicious anytime my phone rings and I don’t recognize the number. But come ON! It was called "Terminus" for crying out loud. As in, a place where things END. Discuss.

Luv,

M.

*** 

Dear M,

Hell no, I wouldn’t have gone to Terminus. I think the group had seen enough crazy stuff in their travels to determine that a haven from the madness was just about impossible. As they say, if it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t. Hello survivors, pay attention. As Conan O’Brien, a huge fan of the show, said, Terminus made you long for the Governor.

Carol is cool, now. What with all her MacGyver moves, she’s makes Michonne look tame.

So, I’m glad the group is back in the woods but I’m anxious for them to find a more urban environment. Looking at the scenes, I think they do.

See ya,

K 

*** 

Mdme. K,

They should just head for Key West and live like the “Gilligan’s Island” crew for the rest of their days. Spinoff series? To the Conch Republic!

Until next time, may your TV viewings be peaceful and British. 

Luv,

M.

PS. Speaking of Michonne, here's a random fun fact: the actress Danai Gurira ALSO played a journo in "Treme."

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