Rick Koster offers weekly lists of ideas, notions and things that must be seen to be believed

I am in receipt of a press release that tells me I can speak with Gene Simmons for purposes of helping him publicize his upcoming book called "ME, INC.: Build an Army of One, Unleash Your Inner Rock God, Win in Life and Business."

I can't say the title's particularly catchy in that "As I Lay Dying" or "A Confederacy of Dunces" fashion, but I also understand Simmons isn't trying for literature but has instead penned a financial self-help book built around his 13 specific principles for success.

Well, there's no question Simmons is incredibly successful. Here's the problem, though. At this point in my life, crawling feebly towards 60, "ME, INC.: Build an Army of One, Unleash Your Inner Rock God, Win in Life and Business" arrives far too late. It's even hard to type all of that, so I can't possibly incorporate the 13 Simmons Principles to build the Rick Koster Brand near fast enough.

Instead?

Gene - or anyone else rich, for that matter - let me present MY list of business principles:

Principle 1. Gene, please give me $500,000.

Principle 2.I have no intention of paying it back or even lying about paying it back. Instead, I plan to live it up, guilt-free.

Principle 3.Thanks, Gene! (Or, any other rich person inclined to participate in the Rick Principles.)

Principle 4. Yep, my favorite KISS song is still "Let Me Go, Rock 'n' Roll."