Dearrrrrest Lady K,

Is it wrong that, despite the major twist that occurred in it, I found last night’s episode of “The Walking Dead” to have been a bit of a bore? Maybe it’s because I’ve never been sold on Abe and his crew — despite Eugene’s much-discussed “Tennessee Tophat” hairdo, which, indeed, I could study for hours. Still, all that convo about the hair came off really bizarre and forced, IMHO.

And seriously, if Abe said “No. We keep moving” one more stinkin’ time, I might’ve screamed. OK fine, I DID maybe yell at the TV a little bit last night. The crew capitulated WAY too many times to Abe the manic bully. After the zombie-firehose-cannon incident, I wouldn’t have waited for his OK to go raid the Goodwill store for dry duds and whatever else. While he was dithering with the fire engine’s intake, everyone else could’ve been halfway to a new wardrobe. WHY in heaven’s name did they humor him to such great lengths?

And a chance to relax for another night in a bookstore? Bliss. I’d have hidden among the historical fiction and dared Abe to find me and “roll on.”

Finally, did we have any idea he and Rosita were an item??? An item that casually shags? In the middle of Camp Bookstore? While Eugene watches?????

Weirded out,

M. 

***

Dear M.

I, too, was a bit bored with the episode and with the creepfest called Eugene.

Where you surprised he wasn’t a “real” scientist? I don’t even think he’s smarter than anyone else either, like he said. He didn’t even know the story of Sampson. Come on, everyone knows that Sampson got his strength from his hair. So if you’re going to walk around with a mullet … well, I rest my case.

And was this the first sex scene for “Walking Dead”? When Abraham said “I have to get me some ass,” I thought I misheard. But alas, there were the bodies a rock’ng and a roll’ng in the stacks; and there was Eugene peering through the books, pretending he’s Chauncy Gardner from “Being There.” — “I like to watch.” Creepy! “I do enjoy the female form … I consider this a victimless crime.” Which I guess is true.

And in another first for “Walking Dead,” someone who did not nail the walker in the head on the first try. Eugene aimed his knife but missed the walker’s head. Got him in the neck, I think. And then had a hard time pulling the knife out, as it should be. That was my favorite thing from the episode.

Sorta a snooze-fest for me. I was more distracted by the promos for every episode of “Mad Men” that will air shortly on AMC and the 25 Awesome Christmas cookies recipes that popped up on Facebook.

Yours,

Kathleen 

***

Dowager Countess K,

Yeah, Eugene-as-Human-Genome-scientist was a tough sell, and, naturally, I chided myself for succumbing to the age-old stereotype that dudes with mullets don’t tend to work in labs … at least in a research capacity. And yet, here we are. More brilliant reactions to Eugene's revelation here.

As spectacularly lame as his lies are, I do hope he isn’t dead after that beat-down from Abe, because Eugene gets some of the best lines of dialogue (“He said my hair made me look like — and I quote — ‘a fun guy.’”), or maybe it’s that serious Elvis-esque delivery of his. Don’t know, but “Walking Dead” needs more quirky characters. Everyone’s such a BUMMER all the time (#sarcasm)!

Now, how did you read Abe’s whole backstory there – with the fleeing wife and kids, etc. Discuss.

-M. 

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Dear Miss M,

Wasn’t feeling Abraham’s back story, mainly because I don’t think it left us with enough information. So his wife and kids were so afraid of him then ventured out into the walkers? And how did Abraham know you had to kill the walkers with a strike to the head? I surmise his backstory took place pretty early during the apocalypse, so how did he know to go for the brain? And that whole scene where he walked away from Eugene but then turned back with a look on his face, like “Now, I have a mission.” Eh. Wasn’t feeling it. Like I said, I was looking at cookie recipes. Plus it looked like he died his hair red.

I did appreciate the group roughing it in the library. I was particularly impressed with their survival skills. Plenty of paper for fuel. Two wire hangers make a grate over an open flame. And water from the back of the toilet, which is clean water, is boiled. Genius.

Looking for kinder and gentler TV viewing,

K 

*** 

Mdme. K,

Yeah, my husband and I actually had a conversation about the authenticity of Abe’s ginger-ness. I mean, that is some RED hair, if it’s real. Dang!

As for Abe’s back story, because it was so vaguely presented (I mean, they’ve done flashbacks before that were decidedly more linear) I’m left confused about his relationship to this Ellen and the kids. I kinda had the sense that she was afraid of him perhaps BEFORE he pummeled those folks to death (and were they human looters or walkers?). Maybe he had flown into full “WE’RE NOT STOPPING” Sgt. Abe mode before that happened and Ellen had reached her breaking point, hence her decision to try her luck out in zombieland? I’m guessing she wasn’t in the greatest headspace if she preferred to make a run for it WITHOUT Captain America … she was also terribly thin. I thought she was a zombie in that first shot of her, but, apparently not. The hell happened back there?? And yeah, Abe took on Eugene’s “important mission” a little too easily. How about we VET the mulleted fellow we’ve only JUST met before we lay our life and those of others on the line in service to him, hmmmmm?

As for survival skills, I’m now determined to learn how to make a flame with some paper and a couple of batteries a la Eugene. That’s badass.

-M. 

***

Dearest M,

I wouldn’t go as far as calling Eugene a badass, but yeah, the survival skills were impressive. Although, again, why not stop in a Walmart??

The whole episode bothered me because it seemed more about the scene than the story. It was like someone said it would be cool to show a bus careen out of control — yeah, let’s do that. And it would look awesome to show walkers getting blown to bits with a firehose — yes, yes, let’s do that. And then we can a long shot of walkers invading a farm. We could show sweeping shots of walkers, looking like dead tree stumps, dotting the landscape. Yes, yes, let’s.

So, next week can only get better.

Love always,

Your K 

***

K,

Yes, based on the previews for next week’s episode, I’m certain we’ll find some payoff for this week’s ho-hummery. All I needed to see were those shots of Daryl and Carol in action, which assured me of awesomeness to come. Who knew Carol would turn out to be such an audience favorite?

As for your wise note about the episode being more about scene than story, I’m wondering if, perhaps, some of those shots were an homage to the comic book. Can’t you just picture that dramatic wide shot of the zombies in a comic panel? Or the view over Eugene’s shoulder as he wields his zombie power-washer? In any case, the continuity of it all was a tad jumpy in a TV context.

Also, I’m wondering now if, with Eugene’s revelation that he is, indeed, NOT a scientist, anyone will still be compelled to see what’s doing in D.C. I mean, what else does anyone have to do? (except, as you point out, a trip or two to Walmart.) No one has anywhere to be; why not see what’s what in the former nation’s capital. I’m also waiting to see if my theory that Baby Judith’s genetics are part of the zombie cure comes to fruition. Do two infected parents produce an immune child? And, PS., can we maybe find some polio/rubella/measles vaccines, etc. for this baby?

M. 

***

M,

I agree, next week looks good. Seems like Carol escapes, so assuming Beth escapes with her. Daryl was in a few of those scenes, so, my theory is back at the church, where we left Daryl oh so long ago stepping out of the darkness – he brings out Carol and Beth and maybe the doctor. He would add a new dimension. And he could tend to all the wounds these people have. (Speaking of wounds, I think Abraham was bitten by a walker but is not turning for some reason.) Then, Abraham and company turn around and the gang gets back together again.

’Til next time

Yours,

k 

*** 

Lady K,

Brilliant theory! I love it! I nearly forgot about Abe’s gross hand wound that keeps coming undone. Not unlike the man himself ... time will tell!

Luv,

M.

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