Idle Thoughts, while waiting for David Ortiz's retirement, more salsa from Victor Cruz and for Jimmy G to get the job permanently:

• Dr. Idle, Dr. I to his close friends, would like to issue a public service announcement to the Yankees:

Go ahead.

Honor Ortiz, upon his last trip to The Cathedral.

And Dr. I will never set foot inside Yankee Stadium again.

Farewell tours are reserved for true greatness.

Jeter.

Rivera.

Dr. I never saw their names on any PED lists, by the way.

• Dr. I's services are available to any college/NFL franchise as an official Clock Management Coach/Timeout Coordinator.

Seriously.

It's not that difficult.

Amazing how these football coaches can immerse themselves in film and technobabble, make their game sound more complicated than compound fractions and still can't figure out when to stop the clock.

• Dr. I's previous musings produced a number of reader comments killing Bud Light.

No, really.

Dr. I mentioned in passing that he was annoyed about all the Bud Light cans with Patriot logos around here.

Suddenly, a referendum on Dr. I's choice of intoxicants.

Dr. I believes Bud Light is right up there with baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.

Sure beats a craft brewed chocolate coffee stout that lingers on the palate with hints of mocha and vanilla with a gorgeous mahogany color, initial scents of sweet malt and toasted raisin bread, while brown sugar and molasses abound on the nose.

• Dr. I is either losing his mind or road signs around here are out of control.

First, there's the one by the Mohegan Sun exit on 395 North, proclaiming we live in "The Last Green Valley, A National Heritage Corridor."

Dr. I knows of nobody who has ever identified this corner of the world as "The Last Green Valley."

And where is The First Green Valley anyway?

Then he's driving north on Route 1 in Waterford the other day, bears right on to Willetts and sees this random sign reading, "Check Your Turn Signal."

What?

Why?

Are there people on Myrock Ave. watching?

• Question: Is there a better announcer around than Sean McDonough?

Answer: No.

• Dr. I wishes he could take credit for this.

But whoever came up with "NewLonDunn" in honor of our guy Kris Dunn should go to the window and collect.

• A kinder, gentler Dr. I would like to wish Notre Dame as many victories this season as players arrested so far.

• If nobody else will say it, Dr. I will: The Lonesome Polecat has been on fire thus far this high school football season.

• Congrats to Dr. I guys Phylip and River Thomas, Ledyard High grads playing college football.

Phil caught two passes for Pace in his first college game, while River is playing at Wagner.

• You think it's easy being an English major?

Dr. I was singing along to James Taylor the other day until he realized that "how sweet it is to be loved by you" is really bad passive voice.

It's like Rhett Butler saying, "Frankly, Scarlett, a damn is not given by me."

• Sad news: Just like Ryan Lochte, Speedo has cut all ties with Dr. I, too.

• Line of the week comes from Dr. I's friend Heather Buscetto of Waterford:

"They had the camera on Kaepernick while he knelt during the national anthem. They should keep it on him while his (butt) sits on the bench."

• If you haven't seen "Comedy On Demand," an improv group led by intrepid "GameDay" voice Casey O'Neill, your education has been sadly neglected.

Absolutely hysterical.

• The World Cup of Hockey?

Does, like, Ecuador have a team?

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro