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    Advice Columns
    Sunday, May 12, 2024

    The new girl at school isn’t shy around boys

    DEAR ABBY: I’m a 17-year-old girl in high school. Recently, I became friends with a new girl at school. She’s 15. She has a boyfriend at her old school, but she talks to guys at this school she thinks are cute. She told me some of them want to hook up with her and she seems happy about it. She even talked about going to a school dance with them.

    I’m worried she might be cheating on her boyfriend, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know him, so I don’t think I can tell him what’s happening. When she mentioned the guys at school and I asked her, “What about your boyfriend?” she just kinda changed the subject.

    — Teen in Pennsylvania

    DEAR TEEN: High school romances aren’t like marriages. While some of them may last forever, most don’t. That’s why I’m advising you to take a step back, stay out of this girl’s love life, and stop worrying about her old boyfriend. If she really cared about his feelings, she wouldn’t be flirting with the boys at school. In time, he will find someone else to ease his broken heart. 

    DEAR ABBY: I met someone I really like eight months ago. The problem is, I can’t get him to do anything except sit at home and watch TV.

    I have suggested doing things he is interested in. But when a friend called, he went out to a ballgame without hesitation. I had been asking him for months to go. He also went to a music festival with friends. But if I suggest anything, he can’t do it. He says he will “sometime in the future,” but how should I take this? We have never been out to eat or seen a movie.

    Am I being childish or asking too much too soon?

    — Underwhelmed in Michigan

    DEAR UNDERWHELMED: Too soon? Eight months? You’re not childish; you are thinking rationally. Sitting around and watching television requires no effort on his part — and I’ll bet you’re providing the snacks, too. Forgive me for seeming judgmental, but the man you’re involved with is acting like a self-centered mooch, and it’s unfair to you. 

    DEAR ABBY: I started a new job that requires me to deal with the public. I am now encountering an unexpected issue I didn’t know I’d have with myself. It’s receiving compliments.

    On more than one occasion, men have told me I’m “beautiful.” Instead of handling it gracefully, it makes me defensive and I seem rude without meaning to be that way. Comments of this nature make me extremely uncomfortable.

    I’ve never had strangers tell me things like this before. My co-workers think I’m crazy for not eating it up, but I’m left feeling uneasy for the rest of the day. There has to be a better way of handling this than the way I have been. Any advice?

    — Defensive in Arkansas

    DEAR DEFENSIVE: Yes. The best way to handle a compliment is to be gracious and accept it. Say thank you and refrain from using it as an excuse to parade your insecurities.

    Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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