It was hard enough to be a teenage girl when Beatrice Jennette, 53, was growing up, and she didn't have to deal with twitter, Facebook, every conceivable family arrangement and schools with more to do every day.

It's part of the reason she created S.T.E.P.S., or Striving Toward Empowered Personal Success, a program run by women for young women in Groton and New London.

"When you're going through (something) and you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, it's hard to see that things are going to get better," Jennette said, even if the "something" is being a teenage girl in today's world. "There are people to help you," she said.

The non-profit organization, supported mainly by grants but also by fundraisers, runs programs after school at West Side Middle School in Groton, Bennie Dover Jackson Middle School in New London, and holds meetings for high-school age girls at the Martin House in New London. It also runs a summer program. It

enrolled more than 60 girls last year, and already has 40 this year.

"We always put successful women in front of them," said Jennette, whose mentors include a training counselor at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy and a retired employee of Pfizer, Inc.

The girls gather after school for a session that could be as simple as discussing a personal topic like confidence building, social media or how to set goals. A facilitator guides the discussion. Nothing said in the room may leave the room.

Jessica Bessette, lead facilitator for S.T.E.P.S., led the topic last week at West Side Middle School-Relationships.

Some of her points: You don't date adults, meaning someone over age 18. If a guy buys you dinner, carries your books or does something else for you, you don't "owe" him anything. If your boyfriend says you can't see certain friends or you spend too much time with your family, get away.

It may hurt to end the relationship, but that's all right, she added.

"It's Ok," she said. "It's OK to feel pain."

Girls in the group said they keep coming back because they find support, suggestions that help them in everyday life and a safe place to express themselves.

MacKenzie Jimenez, 14, said she heard about the program from her best friend. And it's given her "information that I need to know," she said.

"It teaches you how to deal with people," said Casaundra Fenty, 13. "Just different kinds of people."

S.T.E.P.S. doesn't target girls with troubles but rather your average girl, so the problem may be as simple as constantly arguing with a parent or sibling.

Yet the students say they get a lot out of the program.

Naomi Durham, 13, said she learned to use "I" statements when talking with her sister, 10. Instead of saying, "You always do this," Naomi replaced it with, "I don't like it when you do this." It made a big difference, Naomi said.

Several girls said they learned to set boundaries for themselves and others.

"Now I know how to talk calmly, without spazzing out at people," said Trianna Blake, 14.

Although the program ends at high school, former students have kept in touch and even returned to mentor the younger girls.

Hailie Kesterson, 12, values the support. "Like if you have a problem, you can talk to them," she said. "And if you feel upset, they can make you happy."

The purpose of S.T.E.P.S. is to offer workshops, activities and education to empower girls and urge them to support one another, said Erin McDonald, lead facilitator at Bennie Dover.

It's given Emme Romanelli, 13, a confidence boost, she said.

"We're told, from every direction, 'Be this. Be that,'" she said. "And this tells us it's OK not to fit into the mold."

D.STRASZHEIM@THEDAY.COM

TWITTER: @DSTRASZHEIM