I had hopes of a marvelous 7th birthday party for my middle child, one of those parties where the whole class is invited, and they spend a couple of hours at some cool space offering climbing and bouncing. I got a quote from such a place and was not prepared for the price tag. By the time my sticker shock wore off, the birthday was a week away.

I had really wanted to come through for my youngest boy, the one wedged between his older brother and younger sister. It is not easy being the middle child. It is like he was marked from birth. He came early, very suddenly and delivered naturally, so that my joy on his birth was trumped by the immense relief I felt in having the childbirth pain end. I also felt really guilty. No one warned me I would feel like I had betrayed my oldest son. It did not help that big brother scowled and frowned when his little brother entered the world. I’ve got the pictures to prove it.

A couple of weeks before the birthday I had gotten hints of special toys that he wanted. The Lego set he craved came in the mail with a week to spare, and a stuffed toy Grizzly Bear also arrived on time. I knew at least my little man would have two toys to open on his special day. But after that I hit a wall. My husband was going to be out of town on his birthday. I was working weekdays, and barely found time to grocery shop, cook dinner, and get homework tackled before day’s end. Sadly I realized a party would be out of the question this year.

I decided my son’s birthday treat would be a one on one breakfast date with me. In a family with three children, any time my kids get alone with mom or dad is precious time. And it had been ages since my middle boy had enjoyed such undivided attention. I asked him if that sounded good, and he beamed.

We planned on an early breakfast out, then a stop at the toy store to spend his birthday money and pick out small party favors for his brother and sister, who had stayed home with my mother-in-law. Back at the house, I painted my kids’ faces, and my boys were busy building the Lego set and playing with the other birthday loot. Later in the day we all went out for pizza.

I asked my son how his day had been and he said it was a good birthday. I promised both my boys I would plan some playdates with their good friends. Some of that early guilt started to creep back. Did I let my child down again? Did I do enough? The more I parent, the more I realize it’s okay to keep things simple. I find I put immense pressure on myself to come through for my kids, when with kids, it is often the little things that count. It also makes it that much more special when you are able to pull off something spectacular. We’re planning a weekend trip to New York City before my mother-in-law leaves at the end of the month. My middle child really wants to see the Statue of Liberty up close.

Maria Gonzalez lives in East Lyme with her husband and three children. She can be reached at lloralindo@gmail.com