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    Saturday, May 04, 2024

    Gobbling About Week 13

    Lucky Week 13 is on us - and that means one, maybe two weeks are left until your league playoffs begin.

    Since it's Thanksgiving, this will be a bit of an abbreviated blog - but definitely with a few choice picks for you.

    One thing I want to remind everyone when you’re reading my advice-you need to remember that I’m looking for people who may be sleepers or good plays for the week. I won’t be telling you to start Peyton Manning or Aaron Rogers or Matt Forte. That’s not advice; it’s stating the obvious. So: when I’m recommending someone, it’s to give you a little advantage on some obscure or lesser known players or matchups. 

    RUNNING BACKS

    Last week, my sleeper Latavius Murray rushed for 112 yard on four carries and scored 2 TDs - which just happened to be the first rushing touchdowns scored against the Kansas City D all year. Unfortunately, on carry number five, he literally became a sleeper when he was dealt a concussion. If he passes the NFL protocol and is cleared to play this week, get him in your line up against St. Louis. They have a good D, but gave up over 100 yards and a TD to Ryan Mathews last week. My new rule: guys with gladiator names RULE!

    Indy’s Daniel “Boom” Herron got the start over Trent Richardson last week and actually had a better day. Against Jacksonville, he may be your man if you’re in need and desperate for a RB.

    Jerick Mckinnon for Minnesota and Andre Ellington for Arizona both get off the snide and score TDs this weekend.

    WIDE RECEIVERS

    The Eagles' Jordan Matthews will snag a TD against my beloved Cowboys on the way to a loss to my beloved Cowboys.

    Tom Brady has found love and a reliable receiver in Brandon LaFell - look for a big day in what will be a shoot-out with Green Bay.

    Pittsburgh’s Martavis Bryant (yet another of my All-Gladiator-Name team) should light up New Orleans at home in Heinz field.

    Lastly, watch Minnesota's Charles Johnson. He's a former practice squad guy who followed offensive coordinator Norm Turner from Cleveland and has become a favorite and effective target for Teddy “Two Gloves” Bridgewater. He gets my endorsement this week.

    QUARTERBACKS

    Matt Stafford and the Lions will light up the Bears at home on Thursday … Hmmm ... bear meat for Thanksgiving. I like it!

    If you need a reach play due to injury or poor performance from a current starter, take a shot on Drew Stanton in Arizona. They get the porous Atlanta D and, even though he’s the back-up, he is a decent QB on a well-coached team with a solid offense and an excellent defense.

    One last reach/long shot is Zach Mettenberger. The rookie from LSU is showing some potential and, though they face Houston's solid D, Zach has a rifle arm and - to paraphrase Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber - ”So I’m saying there’s a chance.”

    TIGHT ENDS

    The landscape for tight ends has been very hit-or-miss beyond the big three (Gronk, Graham and Thomas). Other than these guys, there's so little consistency from week to week that it’s a total crap shoot. But, hey, I’m in the business of shooting crap - and sometimes I’m even right.

    The Panthers and Vikings play each other this week and I like both of their guys, Greg Olsen and Kyle Rudolph, to score TDs.

    Last week, I thought San Fran’s Vernon Davis would score a TD … and he didn’t. I’m sticking with him this week against the Seahawks as the Niners probably won’t be able to run and they're going to have to throw. As Jim Carrey said - well, you know.

    DEFENSES

    Jacksonville - I predict they beat the Giants and dominate the game.

    Miami will ground the hapless Jets.

    Indy should easily control the Redskins - unless Gruden wises-up, benches RGIII, and starts former UT Longhorn star Colt McCoy. If that happens, all bets are off.

    Lastly, I want to wish a safe and happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I encourage you to think about the many blessings we often take for granted - and say a prayer for those who may not be as fortunate. It’s a true American holiday - like no other - so take a moment and smell the turkey, particularly since roses aren’t typically in bloom this time of year.

    Now: go out and win your games this weekend and good luck to everyone - unless you’re playing me.

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