We celebrated Independence Day 14 days ago. Sailfest was last weekend. It will be August before you know it.

I mention all of these summer-esque facts because — yes — I already saw a store arranging displays of cornstalks and scarecrows to be ready for autumn. Plastic jack-o’-lanterns will doubtlessly emerge at any moment because real pumpkins won’t be ready to harvest for weeks. But what does Nature know about marketing?

Listen, Halloween’s always been my favorite holiday, but this holiday-preempt stuff gets more and more ridiculous. I suspect people are already erecting tents at Best Buy to be first in line for Black Friday.

But why fight it? This is how commerce works, and the best way to deal with it is to go with the flow and make the best of it. To that end, I’ve compiled a list of how to optimally utilize Halloween costumes RIGHT NOW — before anyone automatically associates these outfits with Oct. 31. Here’s what I have in mind.

COSTUME: Convict Suit — one of those comical ones with black and white horizontal stripes and a fake plastic ball and chain.

FUN PROJECT: Going north on I-395, just before the Corrigan-Radgowski Correctional Center, is a helpful highway sign that says PRISON AREA — DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS. Dress up in your convict costume and, thumb out eagerly and with a winning smile on your face, stand right under that sign. 

COSTUME: Grim Reaper Suit with skull face, hooded shroud and plastic scythe.

FUN PROJECT: Don the Death uniform and wander the halls of a hospital. 

COSTUME: Civil War Union Soldier Suit including navy forage cap with black leather bill, dark blue frock coat with double-line gold buttons, and a musket.

FUN PROJECT: Walk onto any New England town green and run a Confederate flag up the flagpole. Mutter over and over, “Shelby Foote had it all wrong!” 

COSTUME: Old West Gunfighter with Duster and Six-Shooter or ’30s-style Gangster with Tommygun.

FUN PROJECT: Rob a bank.