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    Advice Columns
    Monday, May 13, 2024

    Colleague’s texts suggest she has more in mind than work

    DEAR ABBY: My husband is a handsome executive who works out of town. I'm a professional with a responsible job that limits my ability to travel.

    I needed to borrow his phone recently and noticed that one of his colleagues has been texting him after hours. She asks if he has traveled safely, tells him she misses him, how much she enjoys working with him - all with romantic emoticons. I'm concerned that the flattery and emoticons indicate she wants more than a work-based relationship. She's married with kids. How should I approach this?

    - Worried wife in Kentucky

    DEAR WORRIED WIFE: Because there have been more than one of these flirtatious, unbusinesslike communications, assume that your husband hasn't discouraged them. Confront him. Tell him you feel what she's doing is a threat to your marriage, and you want it stopped. But before you do, make copies of the texts so you can confront the woman with them if she doesn't stop.

    DEAR ABBY: Is it OK for a man to talk on his cellphone at the urinal in a public restroom, or for a woman to talk on the phone while using the toilet in one of the stalls?

    Also, please remind everyone to wash their hands after using the restroom.

    - Russell in Richland, Wash.

    DEAR RUSSELL: I can think of few things more unpleasant than conversing with someone with the sound of "running water" (or worse) in the background and toilets flushing. Why anyone would do this is beyond me. It's very rude.

    And, while I can remind people about hand-washing until the cows come home, I'll suggest instead that men and women who use public restrooms not touch the door handle without a paper towel - when available - firmly in hand.

    DEAR ABBY: I grew up in the '90s in a neighborhood where the kids respected their neighbors. I now live in a different state and, obviously, a different era. Neighborhood kids constantly use my steep driveway to ride their bicycles, tricycles and scooters without asking permission.

    Am I right in thinking this is rude, because in my opinion, they are trespassing? Not only could I be held responsible if one of them gets hurt on my property, but they also are extremely loud and do this while my children are trying to nap. They have been asked to stop, and I have threatened to talk to their parents, even though I don't know where they live. What do I do?

    - Frustrated homeowner

    DEAR FRUSTRATED: Discuss this with your insurance broker. You are correct that if one of the children gets hurt on your property you could be liable. You also need to be more proactive than you have been. Tell the kids they are disturbing your children who are trying to nap, and if the kids don't go away, find out where they live and talk to the other parents. It would be cheaper than having to install a gate in front of your driveway.

    Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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