Old Lyme — When Arthur "Skip" Sibley Jr. first ran for the Board of Selectmen 16 years ago, he was motivated to leave the town a little better for the next generation.

He said he had realized from his involvement in the Lymes' Youth Service Bureau, particularly during a project to upgrade the organization's main building, how much people could accomplish when working together.

But he said he felt in the face of issues like aging school facilities and a shortage of athletic fields, the town was dwelling on negativity and having disputes, including with Lyme and the Lyme-Old Lyme school district.

"I said: 'You know, I think I can make a difference here and maybe make things better than when I started,'" he recalled during a recent phone interview in which he reflected on his time on the board. Sibley is not running for re-election in November.

Sibley also had seen firsthand how the community helped him — and wanted to give back.

Twenty years ago, on July 16, 1997, Sibley was working in a quarry when he was seriously injured in a blasting accident. He said his colleague, whom he was helping that day, died. Sibley was sent to Hartford Hospital for major operations.

Sibley, a Middletown native, was living in Old Lyme with his wife and three children, with his youngest not even a year old. He said the accident was a tough experience and was very traumatic for his family.

But he said the way the community reached out and came over to assist his family, with "the pureness of helping others," really affected him.

He said he was raised by loving parents who were involved with volunteer work, but this experience in his own life was a "big push" for him to get involved with the community.

The old cliché — what doesn't kill you makes you stronger — rang true for him, he said. He's of the philosophy that if people keep on working on a problem, they can figure it out. If there's a wall in front of them, they can put up a ladder or dig around it.

"That’s been my outlook since that moment," he said.

In his tenure on the board, Sibley, now 58, said he enjoyed working together with volunteers to plan projects to leave the town better, from installing athletic fields at Town Woods Park in collaboration with Lyme, to sprucing up the public works building.

He said he thinks the school district and both towns are getting along better, with representatives convening monthly for community leadership meetings. He said he feels disagreements are bound to arise as people work on projects, but they can sit down together to find compromises and understand each other's positions.

"It's all about communication and mutual respect," Sibley said.

Sibley, who is fourth generation in the explosives business and currently president of Independent Explosives, said he brought his business experience to the position. His management style is to slow down decisions and look at issues from different angles.

He said the 16-year experience on the board has been like a graduate-level course and he's grown so much as a person.

Sibley, a Republican, said he works well with First Selectwoman Bonnie Reemsnyder and Selectwoman Mary Jo Nosal, both Democrats, on the board, and they are always very respectful to one another, even when they disagree.

Reemsnyder, who has worked with Sibley since she joined the board as a selectwoman 14 years ago, said Sibley is hardworking, has advocated for projects, including the boathouse, and is very dedicated to the town and the townspeople. She said people call him with their concerns, and he always represents them well by bringing their comments up at Board of Selectmen meetings or to the first selectman.

"He's just been a really very solid representative for the people," she said.

Reemsnyder said they work together well, and, even when they are across the aisle from each other on Election Day, they are always friendly with each other. 

"We have more in common than not, and I will miss him," she said.

Sibley said it wasn't an easy decision, but after 16 years on the board and 8 election cycles, he thinks it's time and wants to give other people an opportunity. He said he's excited for the future of the town and may continue to be involved with some of the projects on the horizon.

"Skip has dedicated a large part of his life to Old Lyme, and I think the whole community should be thankful," Republican Town Committee Chairman David Kelsey said by email. "He has always spoken his position clearly, and he has been true to those positions, which is refreshing. I can't thank him enough for the time he has given and what he has accomplished."

Sibley said that when he wakes up every day, he thinks about what new things he can learn and how he can make things better.

"There's not a day that I don't think about how precious and how fragile life is," he said. "You just have to make the best of it."

k.drelich@theday.com