Everything that needs to be said about the lunacies of air travel has already been said — in perfectly hilarious fashion, I might add — by standup comic Brian Regan. I’m not kidding. Simply Google “Brian Regan — airport.”

In spite of that, I feel I must refer to a few things that occurred to me whilst traveling earlier this week. And while Brian Regan has nothing to fear from this list, I will at least feel better, in that confessional/therapeutic fashion, for having shared with you.

1. You enter the terminal concession store to get gum or water or something to read. There they are, on the top row of the magazine rack, shrink-wrapped to preclude the spread of disease. Hustler. Playboy. Club. Why?! Is there a man alive who would purchase one of these periodicals, board a jet, settle in next to two strangers in the crammed coach section — and start ogling nudists at play?

2. The worst part of flying is the logjam on and off every flight caused by folks who’ve insisted on carrying their luggage onboard, to be stored in the overhead racks. Regan addresses this beautifully. But: on Tuesday, I was standing directly behind a 50-something woman who tried for a long time to fit her bag into an overhead space where there clearly wasn’t room. Finally, she left the piece of luggage halfway into the rack, sticking out over the aisle, turned to me — although I hadn’t said a word — and, with a look of sneering defiance on her face, seethed, “Someone ELSE can deal with this!” And sat down. I’d like to be standing next to Satan when her soul is delivered to hell.

3. This isn’t particularly disturbing, but the dude across from me watched “American Sniper” on his laptop and simultaneously read the paperback edition of “American Sniper.” He’d watch a few scenes, hit pause, open the book and read for a while, then repeat. Odd. At least it wasn’t Bradley Cooper.

4. A few rows in front of me, someone unwrapped and noisily ate something really smelly. It permeated the cabin. I’d never experienced an odor like that and wanted to ask, “Is that a chimp-kabob or ...?”