The bad news is Randy and Kara are being allowed to play.

The good news is that because of the colossal screw up with the timing of last week’s American Idol, this week only two judges will be allowed to critique each performance.

The bad news is Randy and Kara are being allowed to play.I mean, really. Are they that incompetent at American Idol eight season in that they cannot accommodate seven singers in approximately 50 minutes? Apparently the answer is yes, since they ran over again last night, by two minutes.

I mean, really. Are they that incompetent at American Idol eight season in that they cannot accommodate seven singers in approximately 50 minutes? Apparently the answer is yes, since they ran over again last night, by two minutes.Of course it did not help that Idol thought the theme was Songs from the Movies, but the kids got the memo that read Songs with the Longest Titles Ever, and so chose “anthems” like I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing from the “movie” Armageddon; Everything I Do I Do It For You from Robin Hood, and Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman, from Don Juan DeMarco (and yes, score two for Bryan Adams last night!).

Of course it did not help that Idol thought the theme was Songs from the Movies, but the kids got the memo that read Songs with the Longest Titles Ever, and so chose “anthems” like I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing from the “movie” Armageddon; Everything I Do I Do It For You from Robin Hood, and Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman, from Don Juan DeMarco (and yes, score two for Bryan Adams last night!).A sweaty and disheveled Quentin Tarantino, sporting Darren from Bewitched’s hair piece, was the “mentor,” and man, he took it seriously. I laughed at the way nearly all the kids were looking at him and thinking “Dude, you did Reservoir Dogs. What are you talking to me about pitch for?” But props to the director for being so into it. He is a fan.

A sweaty and disheveled Quentin Tarantino, sporting Darren from Bewitched’s hair piece, was the “mentor,” and man, he took it seriously. I laughed at the way nearly all the kids were looking at him and thinking “Dude, you did Reservoir Dogs. What are you talking to me about pitch for?” But props to the director for being so into it. He is a fan.Now, because time was on our minds last night, let’s run the clock as we run down the performances.

Now, because time was on our minds last night, let’s run the clock as we run down the performances.It took SEVEN MINUTES from the opening (and Ryan had to let QT say “This. Is. American. Idol”) to get to the first singer, who was Allison. Now, I love that little purple-headed moppet, but I did not love this. First of all, I hate this song, which was done by Aerosmith for the “movie.” Secondly, she was dressed as if she wanted us to think “dumpy” when we looked at her. Thirdly, she sang it badly.

It took SEVEN MINUTES from the opening (and Ryan had to let QT say “This. Is. American. Idol”) to get to the first singer, who was Allison. Now, I love that little purple-headed moppet, but I did not love this. First of all, I hate this song, which was done by Aerosmith for the “movie.” Secondly, she was dressed as if she wanted us to think “dumpy” when we looked at her. Thirdly, she sang it badly.BUT, the interesting thing here was that after her performance, Simon and Paula officially broke up with Lil, and anointed Allison as a finalist. Simon declared her the “the only” hope for women everywhere. Or maybe just in the competition, I’m not sure which.  Paula also called her "special sauce.” That might’ve been code.

BUT, the interesting thing here was that after her performance, Simon and Paula officially broke up with Lil, and anointed Allison as a finalist. Simon declared her the “the only” hope for women everywhere. Or maybe just in the competition, I’m not sure which.  Paula also called her "special sauce.” That might’ve been code.ELEVEN MINUTES in and we get Anoop and he has officially embraced the Catcher in the Rye look, and is wearing a letter jacket. A letter sport jacket. He sings Bryan Adams’ song from Robin Hood and I’m going to tell you a secret here: I LOVE that movie. I know it’s bad and I know Kevin Costner loses his English accent halfway through but I don’t care. I love that movie and I love that song. And Anoop did it gorgeously. Unfortunately for him, Randy and Kara spout gibberish. Or French. We are TWENTY MINUTES INTO THE SHOW.

ELEVEN MINUTES in and we get Anoop and he has officially embraced the Catcher in the Rye look, and is wearing a letter jacket. A letter sport jacket. He sings Bryan Adams’ song from Robin Hood and I’m going to tell you a secret here: I LOVE that movie. I know it’s bad and I know Kevin Costner loses his English accent halfway through but I don’t care. I love that movie and I love that song. And Anoop did it gorgeously. Unfortunately for him, Randy and Kara spout gibberish. Or French. We are TWENTY MINUTES INTO THE SHOW.Now it’s Adam Lambert and he’s going to do a short-titled song, Born To Be Wild, from Easy Rider, because, you know, get it? And it’s great, I guess, although I feel like I’m sitting front row in a Key West rock club. It’s sort of kitschy and over the top but not in a good Adam way. He has Paula and Simon, and Simon is a little creeped out too.

Now it’s Adam Lambert and he’s going to do a short-titled song, Born To Be Wild, from Easy Rider, because, you know, get it? And it’s great, I guess, although I feel like I’m sitting front row in a Key West rock club. It’s sort of kitschy and over the top but not in a good Adam way. He has Paula and Simon, and Simon is a little creeped out too.Matt sings Have You Ever blah blah blah and I immediately recall Chris Daughtry’s lovely flamenco version of this a few seasons back and I think, hmmm. And Matt, whom I do not like, does not disappoint me, singing a very Matt version of this very annoying song. We are THIRTY-ONE MINUTES IN, and Kara and Randy offer opinions in Swahili.

Matt sings Have You Ever blah blah blah and I immediately recall Chris Daughtry’s lovely flamenco version of this a few seasons back and I think, hmmm. And Matt, whom I do not like, does not disappoint me, singing a very Matt version of this very annoying song. We are THIRTY-ONE MINUTES IN, and Kara and Randy offer opinions in Swahili.Danny Gokey is up and oh, no, he didn’t! but yes he does, he chooses Endless Love by Lionel Richie and he sits next to a harp (you know who plays harps, right?) and I swear I am not making this up, at the end of the song he looks skyward. You know who’s up in the sky right? It’s very boring and very Danny and I am totally over this kid. Paula loves him, I guess, Simon calls him on the mediocrity of it all but takes note of his dewy eyes and we are FORTY-TWO MINUTES DONE.

Danny Gokey is up and oh, no, he didn’t! but yes he does, he chooses Endless Love by Lionel Richie and he sits next to a harp (you know who plays harps, right?) and I swear I am not making this up, at the end of the song he looks skyward. You know who’s up in the sky right? It’s very boring and very Danny and I am totally over this kid. Paula loves him, I guess, Simon calls him on the mediocrity of it all but takes note of his dewy eyes and we are FORTY-TWO MINUTES DONE.Kris gets hustled through his intro. He has chosen Falling Slowly from a movie called Once, and I have never heard of this movie or this song because frankly, if it’s not High School Musical these days, I’m not going. He opens deep in his register, and he has no guitar and so looks like he is holding the mike stand as if it were a life raft. But it is a beautiful song, and while I think he drops a couple of lyrics early, he finds his confidence and by the end of it, it is soaring and lovely and heartbreaking and yes, I am actually crying a little. So I Google the song, which won an Oscar, and I watch the YouTube video, and he nailed it. N-A-I-L-E-D. But Randy has to prove that he knows nothing, and says he hates it, and then Kara, who I now love and admire and want to buy a sandwich, gets 7 seconds to set the record straight (because we have wasted 52 MINUTES of everyone’s time up till now) and tell everyone that it was magnificent.

Kris gets hustled through his intro. He has chosen Falling Slowly from a movie called Once, and I have never heard of this movie or this song because frankly, if it’s not High School Musical these days, I’m not going. He opens deep in his register, and he has no guitar and so looks like he is holding the mike stand as if it were a life raft. But it is a beautiful song, and while I think he drops a couple of lyrics early, he finds his confidence and by the end of it, it is soaring and lovely and heartbreaking and yes, I am actually crying a little. So I Google the song, which won an Oscar, and I watch the YouTube video, and he nailed it. N-A-I-L-E-D. But Randy has to prove that he knows nothing, and says he hates it, and then Kara, who I now love and admire and want to buy a sandwich, gets 7 seconds to set the record straight (because we have wasted 52 MINUTES of everyone’s time up till now) and tell everyone that it was magnificent.And then poor Lil chooses The Rose by Bette Midler, but decides to turn it into Mary J. in the middle, and she is wearing her most unfortunate wig so far, and the song is a mess, and then Simon completely humiliates her by dumping her in front of 27 million people, and the show runs long because she tries hard to pull herself out from under the bus but the damage is done. Paula is so sad she can’t even tell Lil that she looks beautiful.

And then poor Lil chooses The Rose by Bette Midler, but decides to turn it into Mary J. in the middle, and she is wearing her most unfortunate wig so far, and the song is a mess, and then Simon completely humiliates her by dumping her in front of 27 million people, and the show runs long because she tries hard to pull herself out from under the bus but the damage is done. Paula is so sad she can’t even tell Lil that she looks beautiful.And it’s 9:02 and my bottom three are Matt, Danny and Lil, but of course Anoop will probably go home. Preppy can’t catch a break.

And it’s 9:02 and my bottom three are Matt, Danny and Lil, but of course Anoop will probably go home. Preppy can’t catch a break.