Let’s say that, right now, in late February, you’re a bit down on your luck and find yourself in woeful financial straits.

Do NOT expect to solve your problems by playing the lottery. For God’s sake don’t rob a jewelry or liquor store (though it seems to me if you have to rob one or the other, go with jewelry). And don’t sell blood! You might need it.

Instead, IMMEDIATELY, form a Celtic rock or Celtic punk band. They’re always in extremely high demand during the month of St. Patrick’s Day, and the free beer will flow and dollars will rain into your coffers and, if you’ve got someone who can sing both “Danny Boy” and “I’m Shipping Up to Boston,” and a guy who can actually play a bagpipe, you may have just found a new career.

Need some tips on how to get started? Head to New London’s 33 Golden Street on Saturday when Kilmaine Saints take the stage. The Pennsylvania-based act is a fine practitioner of high energy Celtic punk – and be on time. Fine locals the Bards of Gungywamp open the evening’s festivities.

The Kilmaine Saints, 7 p.m. Saturday, 33 Golden Street, 33 Golden St., New London; $10; (860) 443-1193.